Finding Our Song
by Pierrot's Vault
Summary: "I wish…" she whispers close to the little candle, like it was a friend she's telling a secret to, "I wish that this is the year he finally picks up what's left of his heart." ... (Rated M for language and future... possibilities)(AU)
1. Say Something

Chapter One: Say Something (I'm Giving Up on You)

* * *

It's been six years, exactly to the date.

_Not that long really_, she thinks, just a little more than a fifth of her twenty-three years on earth. She doesn't know if she said that just to put things into perspective or to convince herself.

She leans her forehead on the cool surface of the window of the bus, packed like a sardine next to a man she barely knows. Based on the stink of beer (that heady, intoxicating-without-meaning-too smell that she associates with warm, quiet nights) and the unkempt and rumpled clothes, he wouldn't be someone she'd want to know anyway. Especially since he's been eyeing her up and down ever since he got on.

Oh the awesome tapestry of life.

She'd have gotten off a while ago if it wasn't raining. And damn it that she was too lazy to take an umbrella with her this morning.

And that she's dead on her feet to boot. Her shifts in the hospital had increased, now that she's _so _close to graduating. Just a little bit more… And all these five years would have been worth it. Tsunade-shishou doesn't say it, but Sakura knows. She's proud of her for finishing med school early, head and shoulders above the rest of her class.

Unbidden, she wonders if her friends back home would have been proud of her too.

But that's a debate she's too nostalgic at the moment to objectively participate in.

Her gaze doesn't go beyond the window, instead she focuses on her reflection in the mirror. Long pink hair tied in a bun, once neat and perfect, now with strands straying along her nape. All-too-tired green eyes with dark circles adorning them that concealer can't completely erase.

It's not that bad is it?

With a bit of color on her lips and a bit of eye shadow, at least she doesn't look like a total zombie.

Sakura lets a smirk grace her pretty mouth, her sailor mouth that can demolish a man just as well as build him up… a smirk reminiscent of someone's, someone she knew a long time ago.

Hey, at least Mr. Drunk-as-a-skunk to her left still finds her attractive.

God, it's been too long.

Her sense of humor was declining.

* * *

The apartment is a rental.

It's the first one she got since she moved to Suna six years ago. It's small, but she likes to think that it's cozy.

The yellowing floral wallpaper? Vintage.

The way the kitchen butted into the living room? Space and time-saving.

It doesn't really matter what anyone else may think, that she can do better— and in fact, she _can _afford better. But this was home. These walls had seen much crying and breaking down, self-congratulatory celebrations, crazy late-night study sessions, and then some more crying. It may be silly to think (in fact she's not sure whether it's just the loneliness or if she should find a psychiatrist) but it feels like this apartment has nurtured her in its arms.

But now Gaara is suggesting that she _move in_ with him.

What would that be like?

She drops her purse on the second-hand (so soft) couch and heads straight to the fridge. With extreme care, she lifts a small slice of New York Cheesecake with a little pink candle on top.

Because it's not just the six year anniversary of her new life in Suna, in an advance med school that's slowly eating away at her health and sanity.

It's also her twenty-third birthday.

She lights the pretty little candle and it's the only light, the only warmth in her apartment.

"Make a wish Sakura…"

_I want to graduate with top honors_, she thinks; then at least she has something to show for all these years. Or maybe a pay raise so she can finally get that pink Cadillac she's been eyeing. Yes, it's pink; she's not ashamed of that. Hell she could even wish for world peace.

But she knows what she'll wish for in the end. The same thing every year.

"I wish…" she whispers close to the little candle, like it was a friend she's telling a secret to, "I wish that this is the year he finally picks up what's left of his heart."

* * *

Sakura met Gaara in the hospital, in her fifth year in Suna.

He had collapsed from sleep deprivation, a common illness of most architects or, in Gaara's case, architects-to-be. Late nights alone with just a drafting table and the deadliest deadline would make a frazzled, over-caffeinated mess out of anyone.

Sakura, not a stranger to the effects of sleep deprivation herself, proceeded to give the red-head the scolding of a lifetime. What if no one had found him? If he had fainted out in the highway while driving?

All the while, he stared at her with those wide, blue-green eyes, eyes that could rival hers in clarity. No one had ever dared raise their voice at him, not the youngest child of the Sabaku family.

Especially since most everyone was afraid of _him _and his eyes that could see through anyone.

Later, Sakura would learn that he was an insomniac, not much he could do about sleeping properly really. Not unless someone knocks him out cold.

Even when she learned who he was, she had no remorse in her treatment of him. Hey,_ she_ was going to be the doctor here, and people came to _her _for advice and they better well damn take it.

Gaara started walking her home a week after he was discharged; cause you know, doctors (even doctors-to-be) couldn't see their patients like that.

And it took him another week to ask her on a _friendly _date.

And they took it slow, because Gaara was a gentleman, and because she wanted to make sure. That when she— _they _took their relationship to the next level, when they could finally, actually call it a relationship, it wouldn't be just so she could prove something.

To herself. To the people back home. To _him_.

So far though, time has not finished its job of mending wounds and she's still waiting.

Just waiting.

* * *

"I'll be gone for three weeks." Gaara wipes his mouth with a napkin.

Sakura takes another bite of the strawberry cheesecake. "To where?"

They meet up for dinner the day after her birthday. He didn't push for a date on the special day; he knows that it's a personal celebration still. And he had a presentation anyway, he said in a way that Sakura almost believed he wasn't disappointed.

She really doesn't deserve someone like Gaara, who would wait for her patiently. Not when she couldn't wait herself.

But she had to do it right?

Before she lost the will to fight herself?

"Konoha." Sakura almost chokes. "They're renovating the old highschool and our firm got the bid."

_The old highschool… _Images of diamond wire fences with gaps underneath and giant windows looking out into the soccer field came to mind. Along with rickety old stairs, the fourth step of which could (supposedly) grant your wish and a musty old room that smelled of ink.

"Well then," she smiles, "Take pictures for me would you? It's been a long time."

Sakura's told him that she's from Konoha, of course. It's not like she kept it a secret, seventeen years is a good chunk of her life that she can't hide. But there sure as hell are things that she 'forgot' to mention.

But the things left unsaid built the wall they have yet to pass, mean and seemingly insurmountable. There are chips and gaps here and there, but it was far from going down.

Maybe it was time to take a sledgehammer to it?

"Better yet, why don't you bring me home a keychain so I can put the key to _our _apartment on it?"

* * *

If Sakura could describe how she felt the moment she mentioned moving in, it was like jumping off a cliff. And it felt like she was _still _falling. She was in over her head, and exhilarated at the same time. Hell she almost can't believe it.

But for his sake, she hoped that the fear didn't show in her face, color draining from her cheeks.

Because all that he was… was happy.

The trip home was easier, quieter. Gaara walked her up to her door (not for long, he says), and she gives him a chaste kiss on the side of his mouth. The rare reddening of his cheeks almost banished the heaviness in her chest. Almost.

Sakura doesn't invite him in; that's a battle for another day.

Tonight, she says bye and that's it.

Tonight, she gets back to her inches-thick med books and attacking them with highlighters.

But she can check her Facebook wall for a while can't she? It _was _her birthday and all, and even an impersonal greeting over social media was better than nothing.

Greetings from her co-workers flooded her notification, but all she really cared about was Tsunade-shishou's and Shizune-chan's. There were also ones from Temari and Kankurou, of course… and a message from _Hinata-chan?_

Sakura reads it once. And then twice. She doesn't even hesitate calling Gaara.

"Hey, Gaara-kun, I don't suppose you mind having a travel buddy to Konoha? ... There's a sort-of emergency."

She looks at the message again so she can convince herself that she read it right.

_Sakura-chan, happy birthday!_

_Ano sa… I know this is quite sudden, we haven't seen you in years, or talked to you… But I don't know who else to turn to. You're the only one I could trust with this, I haven't even told Naruto-kun yet._

_I hope you would consider coming back to Konoha for a while. I really need your… support in the matter._

_I think… I'm pregnant._

Well shit.

* * *

A/N:

I don't know what this is. Just something that I typed up on a whim… What am I thinking right? I haven't even finished Nyx Eros (far from it!). Should I continue this though?

Don't be lame, review guys!

I do not own Naruto, or the title song in any way.


	2. Nothing

Chapter Two: Nothing

* * *

He's an asshole and he knows it. A bastard, a jerk, and all the things that Naruto says he is.

He knows that.

And if it was any other day, he wouldn't have given two fucks about it. But this wasn't _any_ other day, this was one of the two days in a year that he didn't have any quick comebacks to shield himself from the accusations of his wrongdoings.

Especially those coming from himself.

As Sasuke loads his 9mm with another magazine, he hears his phone ring. It's probably Naruto. He's been calling non-stop since this morning, and he's not sure why the dobe bothers. The idiot knows where he is, hell, probably _everyone _he knew knows he's in the shooting range.

And it's not like he's actually going to answer.

Sasuke sighs and, with everything forgotten and the incessant ringing of his phone disregarded, he commences his yearly ritual. With a focused eye and steady hands, he blasts the human shaped targets into oblivion.

Now if only the sound of gunshots could drown out _her _voice.

* * *

Naruto gave up on calling him right around ten. Thank god, at least the dobe has limits. Sort of.

But now, it's midnight and he's only gotten home, smelling like sweat and grass from the cemetery. No, he didn't go to Asami's grave. That would have been borderline sacrilegious— an offense to both Asami and _her_.

Today, it was Itachi that he needed to talk to.

His brother had always been a wise man. Quiet and always listening. Maybe that's why he always knew what to say.

Too bad that's all his brother can do these days. Listen, right from six feet under. And Sasuke himself was never a man of many words. But even though silence is all they had between them, it was comfort enough.

Itachi always said that being able to let everything out was winning half the battle.

Sasuke walks barefoot, in nothing but his favorite navy blue pajamas, and stares outside of his bedroom window instead of heading straight to bed. The voices are disappearing, sure, barely rising above a whisper. But it'll be a while before he can sleep.

Because now at midnight, it would be six years today.

And it was like he was seeing her oddly-colored, cotton candy hair for the last time again, as she walked out of this house and into the wide world where he couldn't— everyone couldn't— reach her.

"_I'm not leaving because of you Sasuke-kun. I'm leaving for me. So you don't have to think too hard about this. In fact, you don't have to think about me at all."_

Such an annoying woman, he thought. It was so like her to fuck with his mind and make him do just the opposite.

* * *

"Teme! Why haven't you been answering my calls?"

Sasuke looks at the walking disaster that is his bestfriend. He was breathless, like he ran all the way to his office. "What do you want?"

The blonde's blue eyes soften at the sight of… of what exactly he didn't know. The permanent scowl etched on his face? His rumpled hair and shirt? Or maybe his completely bloodshot eyes? Whichever it was, he admittedly felt like crap. And looked like it apparently.

Naruto sits on the chair in front of his desk. "Hate to bother you today man. Just that, Hinata-chan's been acting weird, and I really need your advice."

He raises an eyebrow. How on earth could he help? He barely knew anything about the girl. Yes, they've been friends for who knows how long, but the Hyuuga girl really had problems with … communicating.

"Whatever problems you have in your relationship is between the two of you Naruto."

"You haven't even heard me out! Come on, I'm always there for you whenever you decide to be a complete bastard and regret it later."

That's true. Though of course, he never asked Naruto to be there for him. Sigh. And so he listened to the blonde's tale of woes: _Hinata's acting weird, and cold, and she doesn't want to have sex anymore! She doesn't eat what I make anymore. Plus she's left the house a couple of time without telling me where she went! All she says is she visited Karin in the hospital, though why she'd want to hang out with that psycho I don't even know._

"You do remember that that 'psycho' is your cousin right?"

"Shut up Sasuke. Anyway, you think she's cheating on me?"

Sasuke wants to say 'yes' and kick the blonde out of his office. But anyone who has eyes, except maybe the dobe himself, can see that Hinata _adores _Naruto. The one thing that he absolutely knows to be true about the Hyuuga is that she's been in love with his best friend since the moment he accidentally threw a baseball through her bedroom window.

And besides, he already had a suspicion about her 'weird' behavior. Honestly, Naruto can be so dense sometimes. He tells him as much.

"You're no help at all teme!"

Sasuke stands up, finally full of it. "And what help am _I_ going to be?!"

"Well you're a detective aren't you? And you have a lot of underlings here in the police station. Find out what the deal is."

"Hn. No."

Naruto sighs and Sasuke readies himself, already knowing what the blonde's going to say. "Come on teme, this is the only thing I'm asking of you. As your friend."

_Well that's just not true. _Sasuke can still remember the last time his bestfriend asked something from him. One that he pointedly ignored.

And the manipulating asshole knows what those words meant to him. At least he looked like he was fucking guilty about using his trump card on him.

Sigh. "Fine."

* * *

"_Damn it you bastard! You go after her now or I'm kicking your ass!"_

Sasuke can still remember Naruto's tear stained face when he found out what happened. For once, he had no demeaning insult to hand-out. Nothing about how he looked like a sap or that he's acting like a pussy. He just didn't have it in himself to say anything at all.

That was the first time he ever really asked anything of Sasuke.

And Naruto's been holding it over his head ever since. Idiot.

Sure, he told Naruto he'd check up on Hinata. But that was just to get the blonde off his back. Besides, it was obvious what the 'problem' was. Sasuke smirks, his bestfriends about to be a father.

Bless that child; at least the kid would have Hinata.

It's afternoon and he leaves the station early. The paperworks, he gladly left to the newbie, Suigetsu. Partly because the loud mouth idiot needed to learn how to respect authority... but mostly because he called him chicken-ass. Take that, asshole.

Sasuke returns to one of his old haunts, the ol' Konoha Highschool. The students are already gone and it's just him, the soccer field, and the awkwardly painful memories of his teenage days.

It was a time like this a hundred years ago, the balmy afternoon sun heating up his face, that he met Asami; tall and statuesque, long brown hair flowing in the wind. And it was a day that was almost the opposite, when everything fell apart.

"I never pegged you as the sentimental type Sasuke."

He looks up to see Kakashi, an old highschool teacher and a close, _close, _family friend. With one hand he waves hello, and with the other, he's holding a six pack of some Kirin Lager beers.

"I thought drinking on school property was prohibited," Sasuke chides as he takes and opens a can.

"That didn't stop you before now did it, Captain Uchiha?"

They sit there in companionable silence, watching the sun descend until it was no more. Though Sasuke can still feel the burn of Kakashi's fleeting glances. He had this habit of looking 'underneath the underneath.' Something that he regularly practiced with the ever stoic Uchiha.

"That time of the year again, huh?"

Silence.

"You know…" Kakashi began, and Sasuke almost got up to leave. The old man also had the annoying habit of giving lectures to people who don't need it. "The school's going to be renovated. They're going to be bulldozing the old wing_._"

_You know, that place where you spent most of your formative years— with friends you almost never see anymore? The place where you met the most important people in your life?_

"You want to have a look before it's reduced to a pile of rubble?"

Sasuke thought about it. He _really _wasn't the sentimental type.

Sasuke took one last swig at the can of beer and threw it as far away as he could. Sometimes, some things were just better off left behind.

Too bad that had never been his strong suit.

Without another word, just a familiar and curt salute, Sasuke started walking away.

Before he could get very far though, Kakashi hollers at him to stop. "Sasuke! I'm supposed to pick up the architects tomorrow at the airport. But my car's still being fixed. Mind picking them up with me?"

Che. What is it with people asking him favor today of all days?

* * *

A/N:

And here's another chapter!

When I write, I really take the time to set up the backstory. I've read others that just dove in into the action and that's fine too. What do you guys think? Tedious or necessary?

Anyway, the title is from Nothing by The Script. Try listening to the title songs as you read.

I do not own any part of that song, or the anime, Naruto.

I look forward to the reviews!


	3. All You Never Say

Chapter Three: All You Never Say

* * *

A/N: I probably should say it here in the beginning. The title comes from the song "All You Never Say" by Birdy. Try listening to it while you read.

Disclaimer: I do not own the song featured here, nor the manga/anime Naruto

* * *

The call came around midnight.

Her sleep had been unusually lucid and it was as if her eyes had opened even before the shrill ring of the phone broke the peace. Everything that happened after was forever ingrained in her mind.

The sound of the rain as it pelted her bedroom window.

How her shallow breaths came out in icy puffs as she reached for her phone.

Her blood turning into ice, so cold, and her heart constricting so, _so _hard it hurt.

The almost obscene brightness of the hospital lights as she rushed towards the emergency room, wet from the raging storm outside.

Lastly… the absence of _his_ tears or sobs_. _Just the gritting of teeth and the clenching of fist so tight that his nails bit into skin and drew blood.

And everything after _that _was drowned in the static silence.

* * *

"Gaara-kun, this is way too hot for spring in Konoha!"

Sakura chides the red-head as she sorts through the clothes in his luggage. Odd, because for someone who grew up in the near desert-like heat of Suna, he had so many thick clothing. When she moves to examine his closet, "Don't you have any light t-shirts or airy button-down shirts?"

Gaara, for his part, sits at the edge of _his_ bed (because no, she hasn't moved in yet, it can wait after the trip), looking at her with a small smile. Like he was watching something interesting or rare.

"Tell me about your time in Konoha."

If he notices the way her shoulder squares, he doesn't let on. He just waits for her to turn.

"Well that's where I was born, though for most of my life I lived alone." She sits beside him, their legs nearly touching, "My parents were… not there. I lived with the woman who raised me as her own."

"But I had a pretty good childhood. Lots of friends, though there were bullies too. They said it was because of the wide forehead but I'd like to think they were just jealous of my pink hair."

"It _is _every girl's dream to become a pretty pink princess."

"Yeah well I was far from that! I was a little bit of a ruffian actually. My friends always got into trouble and I'd get implicated somehow…"

Her mind wanders a while, a sad but wistful smile displayed on her lips. It has really been so long, too long. She hoped that the dread would stop filling her mind so she could board the plane without her knees shaking; would stop filling her lungs so she could breathe again.

"Anyway! I'll show you all the sights and all the good places to eat! You like ramen right? What else do you wanna know?"

Gaara traces the lines in her palm with his finger, a gentle gesture that took her a while to get used to, and then green directly meets aqua. "Actually, I was thinking more along the lines of knowing your friends back in Konoha."

His request doesn't surprise her. It would only be natural; he's been hinting at it since she said she was coming with him.

"Tell you what, I'll introduce you if we see them there." She gives Gaara's hand a squeeze, for support and not out of excitement. "Let's go? We've got a plane to catch!"

How much of that was true, she'll find out when she gets there.

* * *

The decision to leave Konoha didn't come like a blow to the stomach. Even for someone who had never once even imagined leaving the picturesque little town. Even for someone who had imagined, since she was a little girl, that it was the place where she would start a family of her own and raise adorable children with black hair and green eyes.

No, it was more like a dawning revelation; a thought softly materializing from her mind as she woke up one day and she found that she didn't even have the strength to get out of the covers anymore.

A thought turned into fact, like it had been true all along.

A fatalist friend of hers would agree. You cannot escape fate.

And at the time it seemed like the answer to her every problem. Right? If she wasn't there, then no more problems. If she wasn't there, then maybe everyone could move on with their lives.

If only she could say the same for the people she left behind.

"I wish that you had told me earlier Sakura."

She doesn't look at Gaara when she asks him what he meant because she's too caught up in the moment. Outside of the airport, she's drinking in the sights and savoring the feeling of the hot and familiar air on her face. Even the smell and scents, that constant musky smell of the forest and the mountain, gives her a sense of nostalgia.

"I said I wished you had told me you were coming with me sooner. The hotel I'm staying in is apparently already fully booked. Are you sure you have a friend you can stay with?"

She laughs at him, her way of assuring him. "Yes, yes Gaara-kun. Are _you _sure that someone's going to pick us up?"

"Sort of… he said he'd be here early."

Her mind is tired from overthinking all the consequences of her being here, her eyes are heavy from a night of sleeplessness, and quite frankly, her legs are tired from all this standing. Sakura drags her too-pink suitcase to a nearby table where a man in a hoodie was sleeping.

He probably won't mind having a seatmate (tablemate?) right?

As Gaara looks for the guy who was supposed to fetch them, Sakura studies the man in the hoodie. She invents a story out of boredom. Maybe he's drunk, sleeping off a hangover. Maybe he's waiting for his sweetheart whose flight was delayed. Or maybe he's one of the guards who's supposed to be on patrol but is too much of a lazy bum.

Well, he actually _is _a man of the law, based on the logo of the local police on his back.

There's not much she can guess on what the mystery man looks like, everything's hidden underneath his jacket. Well, everything except those undeniably rippling biceps…

"Sakura, found him!"

She turns to the red head standing beside a middle-aged man with gravity defying white hair. He's holding a sign that looks like a kindergartner scribbled on it with a marker: "Sabaku Gaara, welcome to Konoha." And his eyes… are crinkled in what Sakura knows is shock masked by a smile.

Oh yeah, she knows alright.

After all, he did teach her to look underneath the underneath.

"Kakashi-sensei!"

Sakura throws herself at him because she is genuinely happy.

Because she knows he might be the only one who would be glad to see her here.

Because he is _home._

"Hey there squirt. I didn't expect to see you here." Kakashi ruffles her pink hair, just like old times.

"Well I didn't expect you to be here so early! Finally got a working alarm clock sensei?"

Kakashi doesn't answer. Instead, he inquires with his eyes. _Who is he to you?_

In turn, Sakura introduces them formally, with the affection of a daughter introducing her lover to her father. "Gaara-kun, Kaka-sensei was my _favourite _teacher in highschool. Sensei, this is Gaara-kun, my … boyfriend."

A little influx of breath. An eye to eye gesture. A wide smile.

This is the first time she's ever called Gaara her boyfriend.

Kakashi wipes an imaginary tear from the corner of his eyes. "Maa, my little girl's all grown up."

"Can it sensei. Anyway, I still can't believe you're early today!"

He chuckles and rubs his neck. "Actually, if you'll remember, you're flight was delayed. I didn't find out until I got here so… my bad."

"Kaka-sensei! You would have stranded Gaara-kun here?"

"Don't worry Sakura, I always have a back-up plan. My driver came here earlier than I did." Kakashi points behind Sakura, where the man in the hoodie assembles himself and gets up.

And it was like the world stopped all over again.

Like that night.

And it's almost like all she can hear is _his _silence. And her heart beating.

And all she can see are his dark, dark eyes staring at her.

"I'm not your driver you bastard," he says in that deep voice of his.

Without a word, he easily wrenches the too-pink suitcase, and what little of her heart she's hidden, out of her hand.

* * *

Saying it's an awkward ride is an understatement.

She knows she probably should talk more to diffuse the tension, but she just doesn't have it in her. All the words she wants to say die in her throat as they come up.

Sakura knows Gaara is looking at her from his peripheral vision. Asking. Worried. Sad.

And she was _so_ embarrassed for this. Gaara had to know though, right? That she was with him, right? She squeezes his hand and mouths the word 'later.'

Her eyes furtively glance at _him. _

Sasuke…

It's been six years but nothing seems to have changed. His black as night hair is still messy. His skin is still so pale, it doesn't look like he's ever left his house. There's still that arrogant and aristocratic look that's very Uchiha. And that makes her want to punch him, anything to mar that face of his.

Because damn it all, he's still the most strikingly gorgeous man she's ever seen.

Even his old pick-up truck is the same, albeit a little rougher around the edges. It still smells the same, like his cologne, so distinctively male.

"So Gaara-kun," Kakashi looks at Gaara from the rear-view mirror. "If I may direct your attention to the right, you'll see Konoha Highschool. It's the oldest secondary school in town, as you know. Sasuke, our good driver, will take us there."

She holds her laughter in when said good driver elbows their sensei on the gut.

They park near the old soccer field, and it's almost as she remembers it. The white lines are faded, the grass hasn't been mowed in a probably a month, and the trees lining the field have grown bigger now. But it's enough, it's _almost _the same.

Gaara tells her that he and Kakashi will check out the building for a moment. And would she be okay staying there for a while?

Sakura says yes too fast, she realizes too late. So she looks to him and is surprised by the anxiety in his eyes. Automatically, a hand touches the side of his face, "I'll be here waiting. Don't you worry."

Everything is quiet when the two leave and it makes her all the more aware of him behind her.

"Are you staying with him?"

She closes her eyes shut. It's been so long since she's heard that voice, husky and a little bit gruff. She doesn't look back because she's afraid she might break down in front of him again.

Or worse, that she might run up to him and hug him.

Sakura would be the first to agree that even after six years, she's not completely rid of him yet. But she's trying. And she thinks she's getting there.

So with her will resolved, she turns to him, arms glued to her side and the emotions on her face completely schooled. "No. I'm staying with Hinata-chan."

Sasuke scoffs at her (she almost expects him to say 'annoying') and climbs up on the back of his pick-up. "She's told you that she's pregnant then?"

"H-how do you—? Does Naruto know?"

Sasuke doesn't answer. He sits on the edge of truck and pats the space beside him, like he wants her to sit with him.

And she does. Go up the truck that is.

"No, he doesn't know. The idiot thinks Hinata's cheating on him."

"What? Mou, I love him but Naruto can be so stupid sometimes. How is he any—"

"Stay with me."

Just like that, he takes her breath away. Stay with him? What on earth is he thinking? Sakura asks Sasuke as much.

"You think Hyuuga Hiashi is going to let you stay with them once he finds out that Hinata is pregnant? He's going to kick you out faster than Naruto can inhale ramen. You know how he feels about us."

It's true. The man thinks they've been bringing Hinata down ever since they met the Hyuuga heiress.

"And so you're suggesting that I stay with you instead?"

Sasuke shrugs, not really looking at her. "Why not? I'm the only one in the house and I have an extra room. Most of the day I'm in the station anyway. Besides…" at this, his eyes so cold zero in on hers, "Everything's okay right? We've all moved on. At least, that's what you wanted me to do right?"

She narrows her eyes at him. What is he playing at here? The Uchiha never shows much by way of emotions, but she can't help but feel like he's a cat playing with his prey. And _she's _the prey.

Sasuke doesn't wait for her to answer, he never did before. He just gets off and opens the driver side's door. "If you need to ask loverboy then go ahead. But the offer still stands."

From afar, she can see Kakashi and Gaara approaching, conversing like old friends.

There's a challenge in his voice that she despised. Despised because she knows that he's baiting her, damn it she does, but she's taking it anyway.

"I'll think about it!" She calls out to him.

Oh, she won't be able not to that's for sure.

* * *

A/N: I think I really like this story… it's much easier to write than Nyx Eros, simpler. I gotta say though, all the suspense is hard to put into writing. This is a good way to practice though! And I really like exploring opposites in my stories. Like how here, it's Sakura who left.

Review guys! I'll appreciate it so much! Like, there's nothing I love more than reading someone's thoughts about my stories at the end of a long, thesis-filled day. Insert hopeful face.

KeganHorse- thanks for reviewing this story, and thanks for the compliment! The voice was always my weak point before. I'm happy to be making improvements!

dino- if I'm making you excited with this story, then I've done my job well! Thanks very much!


	4. Empty Apartment

Chapter Fourth: Empty Apartment

* * *

A/N: The song is "Empty Apartment" by Yellowcard, and it's one of my favourite songs. I'm not sure if it fits this chapter all too well, but the overall emotion of the song does, me thinks. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own the song featured here, nor the manga/anime Naruto

* * *

Sasuke knows it's _her_.

Right off the bat, he knows it— even as he first hears the heels of her boots getting louder, even before he is aware that it's that sickly sweet favourite perfume of hers that he's inhaling— he knows.

He has no reason to believe it's her, hell it's near impossible and he really has to be crazy to even think of it, but his guts are bullying his logical brain to submission. And hoping against hope, there she is.

She probably doesn't know it's him with his head bowed down on the table, he thinks. And it's just a little bit unfair how he is so aware of her _now_ and she just… isn't.

It's just like the universe to knock him down and completely screw him over. Just when he thought that it's been too long and surely the storm that started raging around him when _she _left has finally calmed.

Suddenly Haruno Sakura comes back, that annoying pink pixie, bringing hell and high waters with her.

* * *

If the supposed prowess of Sasuke's death glare (or "evil eye" according to Naruto) is to be believed, Sabaku no Gaara would already be gone, resting six feet under, pushing the daisies. Though why he's glaring the red head down to the ground, he doesn't know. Some alpha male tendency, maybe.

But then again, the red head seems like he can fight back, mustering up a glare of his own. Not as scary as his, Sasuke thinks smugly, but definitely creepy as fuck (the guy barely changes expressions!).

And so he relishes in the angry glare, one that's tinted with jealousy, that Gaara gives him when Sakura says _he's_ going to take her to Hinata's house. He rolls his eyes when, as the two lovers embrace outside of the hotel, Gaara sends him a look. A warning and a challenge for all intents and purposes.

Whatever.

He doesn't care.

He never did.

"I'll see you later when we've both settled in Gaara-kun. Take me out for dinner?" Sakura smiles up at him as she straightens out his shirt.

The red head kisses her lightly on the forehead. "How can I say no to such a request?"

Sasuke's hand tightens around the steering wheel and, completely by impulse, he slams a hand on the horn_. _"Hurry it up pinky."

Six-years-ago-Sakura would have thrown a hissy fit over that. But this pink haired woman didn't even so much as narrow her eyes, only sighs and frowns as she slides into the passenger seat of his truck.

_Her eyes_… They don't seem as bright as they did before.

She notices him staring from the rear-view mirror. "What Sasuke?"

He seriously ponders that. What indeed? There are a million unasked questions between them…

_So you've been holing up in Suna all this time?_

_How could you act like we didn't exist for six years?_

He starts up the engine again.

"Your eye liner is smudged. You look like a pink panda."

* * *

"_What kind of person has pink hair? Freak." _were the first words Sasuke ever said to Sakura.

He could see the new neighbors clearly from his favourite tree, on the branch that protruded to their backyard. They had just finished moving in and the pink haired girl, tall and lanky, decided to visit the garden to rest.

They were ten.

Really, he thought that she would cry. Her eyes were watering around the edges and her cheeks, all puffed up and red, reminded him of tomatoes. What he didn't expect was for her to swallow it all down and then, with a fire in her eyes, _stomp _towards him until she was below his tree.

"_Freak? Well what kind of person has a duck's butt for a head?"_

When he promptly fell off the branch and into a bush of thorny roses and she spent the better half of the afternoon patching up his face, he first had the inkling of a suspicion that she would always, _always, _be there from then on.

Another (annoying) constant in his life.

* * *

They don't talk for the rest of the ride.

Sasuke, whose voice probably costs more than gold, should be happy. But isn't. Instead he's _annoyed_, and he's only been with her for four hours after six years, and already she's …

"Stop sighing will you Sasuke? You're an ass."

The bewildered look he throws her is definitely _not _in the repertoire of emotions an Uchiha is allowed to show. And when she laughs at him (_damn it, nothing about this is funny!_) like she always did, it nearly makes him stop the truck abruptly, jump out, and scream.

Instead, his scowl just runs a little bit deeper. He is an Uchiha after all.

Sasuke _hates _her for that, always making him want to do things that he shouldn't be doing.

"Yeah, I know. You're not happy having me here. Believe me, if there was another way…" Sasuke glances at her while he waits for her to continue; there's an unnaturally serene expression on her face, "I'd have taken it. But as it is, we're still in the middle of nowhere, so I'm going to have to intrude on your space for a little while more, okay?"

He knows that the smile isn't real.

Even after all this time, he's still well versed in all her roller-coaster emotions. This smile came from a tired sort of peace, the kind a person waving a white flag gives.

And he would have resigned himself to the same. Except for one thing.

_How _dare_ she come back with someone? _

It's irrational and he knows he has no right.

Haruno Sakura should be able to do, say, and think whatever she wants. She should be able to _date_ anyone she wanted! The day she left them, and refused any kind of contact, she somehow took any right they had to meddle in her life. Like it was something she could put in her pocket and hide.

The fact is he knows he can't expect her to come back and say she's waited and been hoping all these years. Because kami knows he hasn't. The feeling of betrayal doesn't lessen though.

So why did he invite her over? He swears, if this is his sub-conscious plotting some revenge… Kami, stupid is what stupid does.

And right now, miracle of miracles, he realizes that he's completely stupid for Haruno Sakura.

* * *

Sasuke wouldn't call Konoha a ghost town. But it definitely wasn't the bustling city that was Suna. At best, it was a sleepy little town, you can find anything there but there's really not much to do. A little piece of civilization hidden in the leaves, hidden in the mountains.

But it was home.

It's all he's ever known— and yes, an Uchiha is never afraid of change. But something always held him back. He suspects it's the two tombstones lying side by side in the cemetery that kept grounding him like gravity.

And eons ago, he thought that Sakura felt the same, only it was him she kept gravitating to. He wasn't blind, or numb. He understood why she looked at him so and why she would touch him the way she did.

That didn't exactly play out well. For the both of them.

But still. They were friends, right? It used to be Sasuke and Sakura and Naruto against the world. And as much as he wanted them to disappear most of the time, he's not stupid. Especially since they kept him sane most of the time.

"You're spacing out again man."

Startled, Sasuke looks at Naruto like he's just realizing he was there. The blonde looks peeved, he was probably right in the middle of regaling him with whatever story of the day he had saved up for their nightly, Ichiraku meetings.

And he hasn't told Naruto about Sakura being back yet. Because she asked, and damn, he really shouldn't be doing her any favours.

"Do you know what's up with Hinata yet?"

Sasuke smirks. "Yes."

"Well are you going to tell me then?"

"No."

A flying fish cake hits him in the cheeks and it sticks there. "Come on asshole. I'm not paying you for nothing!"

"You're _not _paying me anything dobe. And you'll find out soon enough anyway, I doubt anything stays a secret for too long in Konoha."

Like a how a certain Hyuuga Heiress is now pregnant.

Or that the prodigal, pink-haired sweetheart is walking hand in hand with her new flame, right into Ichiraku.

Sasuke almost laughs at the way her green, green eyes widen, and how she just leaves her mouth hanging open when she sees them. Really now, she had it coming. It's not like she could ever forget that Naruto's favourite ramen stand was Ichiraku.

And when Naruto turns to her, to _them_, and stands up because somehow he's aware of Sakura's presence as well, Sasuke feels some kind of righteous retribution taking place.

"Sa-sakura-chan?"

"…Naruto."

It feels like he, and everyone else around, is intruding in a private moment. Sakura looks like she did back when they were ten, puffed up cheeks and everything. Hell, Naruto, strongest man he's ever known (though he'd rather drown in a sea of fangirls before admitting that) looks about worse. The blonde's already crying.

He stands up and puts an arm around his poor best friend, "Don't bother with her Naruto. Can't you see she's busy with someone right now—?"

Sasuke doesn't know what he expects from the blonde. Though a sympathetic _'Who is this asshole that's following her around?' _would have been nice. So when he sees more than that… more hatred than he's ever seen the blonde give to anyone, much less Sakura— he stops.

"So you're back…" Naruto says through gritted teeth as he tries to hide the tears by covering his face with his arm. But they slip through anyway. Much like the animosity he can't hide.

"I… Yeah, Naruto."

The blonde shrugs off the arm Sasuke put around his shoulders, and nearly cracks a rib when he pushes him away. Sasuke lets him because of course, he's never allowed to forget that it was _him _who "_ruined everything they stood for_."

Naruto glances back at Sakura on his way out. It looks like there's still more he wants to say, more things he wants to ask, more harsh words he wants to let loose. But for once the dobe let's the battle go, just squares his shoulders and shouts as he leaves. "Good! You better stay long then!"

Sasuke looks back to Sakura and the 'boyfriend' (yes, quotation marks because he's still not comfortable with the fact) holding her firmly as she shakes. He notices that, though her tears have finally spilled, there's a ghost of a real smile on her pink, pink lips.

And he starts thinking, that just maybe, she _will _listen to Naruto this time.

* * *

Sasuke's known her all his life.

She used to be such a constant.

He remembers how she always greets him with a smile and a _"Hey there Sasuke-kun!" _like he was the only one in the world that mattered at the moment.

She amazed him with the way she moved, like she was always dancing and walking on the tip of her toes. It always felt like she was so fragile and that was the only way she could move around, soft and fleeting so the world couldn't, wouldn't, break her.

And the way she laughed, god how he misses it! Shyly while covering her mouth with a hand or a handkerchief, the sound of little bells emanating from deep within her, surrounding him.

Even tonight he dreams of her.

_Asami…_

* * *

A/N:

If you read this, then review.

Cause it's lame when you don't … Insert pouty, crying face.

So… What _is _Sasuke's problem? I wanna ask so I can figure out if I'm translating it here right. Am I? Am I moving too slow or too fast?

And I'm revealing bit by bit who Asami is. But we're not quite there yet! Any other guesses? So excited in developing this story more!

Anyway, I'm spending more time on this than Nyx Eros. So sorry guys. Just let me get this out of my mind before it escapes and I haven't put it fully on paper. Plus, I really want to work on **Nyx Eros** when I'm not harried, hopefully it turns out better and not tired sounding. For those who read Nyx Eros, yes, I will continue it. Don't worry! That's a promise I made to myself when I re-wrote it anyway.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	5. Sad

Chapter Five: Sad

A/N: I think I'm too liberal with my use of italics. _Italics. _Also, the song is Sad by Maroon 5. Check out Luciana Zogbi's cover as well. I think the song explains half of what Sakura feels about her relationship with Sasuke.

Disclaimer: I do not own the song featured here, nor the manga/anime Naruto

* * *

"Ne Sakura-chan… I'm so sorry about how Naruto reacted."

Hinata's voice startles Sakura. Seems like she was too focused on scrutinizing each individual grain (as if it were possible, but she tries) in the white sand garden. You _can _actually lose your thoughts there.

"Don't worry about it Hinata. Truth be told, he actually handled it well." She moves closer to the garden, taking care to step on the tiles and not let the hem of her pink, cotton pajamas graze the white sand. "I was expecting _so _much worse."

It's true. When she decided to leave Konoha— on a night much like this one, chilly breeze, bright full moon and all— she didn't even say goodbye to Naruto. And that must've killed him. Being a person who was alone most of his growing up years, he truly treasured all of his friends.

"He just misses you a lot is all… Speaking of which, I have a surprise for you Sakura-chan, I hope you don't mind."

She could already here the taunts even before she turns.

"I think you've gained some weight since the last time I saw you Forehead!"

Right before her was the _other _blue-eyed blonde in her life, and kami, it's so horrible how much she misses Yamanaka Ino.

With new tears pooling in the corners of her eyes, she points an index finger at Ino, "Look who's talking Pig!"

When Ino tackles her to the ground with a hug and Hinata scrambles to help them up, she thinks that she's never been happier in the last six years. Even if there's probably hell to pay now that they've ruined Neji's sand garden.

* * *

"Well, Gaara-san sounds… nice."

"_Nice_?! Please! Forehead lucked into this one! Rich, gorgeous, and those smoldering eyes? You better not let this one go Sakura."

Said girl feels like whacking her loud-mouth friend in the face. With a pillow. Maybe it was too soon to be introducing Gaara to her other friends. Hinata was fine but he might catch Ino's vulgarity somehow.

"Will you shut up pig! The walls here in the Hyuuga mansion aren't exactly solid you know?" To prove her point, Sakura taps the paper screen door beside her.

"Hey, just don't run crying to me when he leaves you for someone prettier, sexier, and someone who can handle him… _better." _Ino stands up and traces her shapely silhouette.

That's it! Like some deranged child (exactly what they were when they first became friends), Sakura tackles Ino down, fully intent on smothering her with a blanket.

Beside them, Hinata sighs and busies herself with the manila envelope that seemed to weigh a ton in her lap.

Sakura notices this and feels guilty all at once. Here she was, so happy to be with her friends, and one of them was stewing in a vortex of a life-changing decision.

"Hey pig…" she whispers to the blonde, "Do you know about _that_?"

Ino's eyes, scary weapons if you happen to be in the receiving end of her ire, zero in on the manila envelope and nods.

"How?"

"Karin, duh."

Well that's the first she's heard the name. A new member of the group? "Who? And how does she know?"

"She's Naruto's cousin— apparently. She works in the general hospital as head nurse. Moved here to Konoha some two years after you left."

"Oh." There wasn't much Sakura could say. Except she has this (silly) nagging feeling, a green monster poking through, that she had been replaced.

Hinata lets out another sigh, a shaky one that seems to have taken all her breath away. So Sakura does the only thing she thinks she _can _do for her friend: simply be there.

"It's going to be alright Hinata." She places her hand on the girl's shoulder; a comforting gesture that she hopes against hope is enough for now. "We're here. I'll go back to the hospital with you tomorrow."

And for a moment, they bask in the comfort that those mere words and the holding of hands could give them.

* * *

The sun had barely just appeared when she arrives in the cemetery, exploding rays of light and warmth all around her. Seeing the two tombstones again, together, it just hits her that she's back in Konoha again. Something that she never thought would happen for a very, _very _long time.

Then again, to most people, six years is already a long time.

And to people who you grew up with and considered you practically family, six years was already a lifetime.

She sits on the ground, in front of the two graves, with her legs tucked under her all prim and proper. She was so worried about where she'd find flowers this early in the morning but she knew she shouldn't have bothered. The graves are immaculate, recently cleaned, and there are two-day old flowers sitting on top of one of them.

_Asami-chan._

"So… I'm back, Itachi-kun, Asami-chan. I'm sorry I haven't visited in a long while."

She wonders if there's really any point in this, talking to people who essentially aren't there. But then, even if your friends die, they don't stop being your friends. They don't stop being people you cared for a whole damn much. Besides, cemeteries are much more for the living than for the dead.

It's the first time in six years that she's been here. The pain of losing Itachi and Asami has long since faded into a dull throbbing and she finds that it's easier to 'talk' to them now than in those first few weeks.

To Itachi, she recounts her tales of contagious diseases and cadavers from medical school. She knows he'd be proud of her for achieving so much; he had been her number one supporter and study buddy when she was preparing for medical school. They may not have been related but he had always been like a brother to her, her voice of reason.

And Asami… Sakura had no words for her. Just tears. Free flowing tears that streamed down her eyes like a rivulet.

Because even now, she knows there aren't enough 'I'm sorry's in the world that she could offer the dead girl.

* * *

"Where did you go Sakura-chan? You left really early."

Sakura offers Hinata a smile and tells her that she's just been walking around town. Why bother with the lie though? One look at Hinata's perpetually shy smile and it's obvious that she knows. And if the grass stains at the knees of her pants weren't telling enough, then what was?

But Hinata wouldn't be Hinata if she didn't understand, or at least give her the benefit of the doubt. Thank kami for small miracles then.

"Let's go Sakura-chan?"

She nods once and looks ahead. The Konoha General Hospital is the only, and therefore oldest, hospital in town. The building is four storeys high made mostly of wood, painted white, with open hallways at the back with wide, ornate arches. Ancient yet beautiful, it was home to many of Sakura's milestones in life, the good and the bad. Chief among them were the long, sleepless nights when she visited her mother during the end. Those days, she practically lived in the building, got used to the bland hospital food and made friends with the staff. Especially the woman who would take her in when it was all over, her Tsunade-shishou.

Then there was _that night_, the accident.

And now, with their hands firmly clasped together, there is Hinata. And her hopes and possible future.

When they're finally standing in front of the Ob-Gyne's door, Hinata let's go of her hand. "Sakura-chan, maybe this is something I have to find out by myself first. Do you mind?"

"Not at all." Sakura understood, sometimes there are thing you have to stand up to alone, if only to make yourself stronger. "I'll walk around. Just text me when you're done."

She gives the girl her most winning smile and waves at her, like an idiot, as she passes through the door.

The hospital, especially now during weekends, is mostly empty. So alone, she decides to go to her favourite place in the hospital, the rooftop.

Whenever it got too much, too painful to see her mother's suffering, she escaped to the rooftop. There she was mostly alone. And she could release the smile and forget that she had to act strong. It was just her and the wide open sky.

Maybe she'll take Hinata here later.

Sakura treads the winding staircase leading to the rooftop. It's made of wood, and old, and rickety. And every creak as her foot steps on a plank and the smell of mold and damp brings an onslaught of nostalgia.

Near the top, she notices that shaft of sunlight pouring in through the open door. Sakura second guesses her move, thinking maybe she should just come back later.

"… said you were going to visit last night."

There _is _someone there. She's close enough to hear the voice, female, as she talked to someone on the phone. Out of curiosity, she listens in. She mentally swears; one day with Ino and she's already turning into a gossip.

"Yeah I know you're busy, the whole town counts on you."

Sakura couldn't risk peering in, in case whoever is there is facing the door. But through the voice, high-pitched, too sweet and a little bit whiny, she tried to imagine the girl. Probably one of those types who always got what they want. Pretty but tried too hard? And she's probably talking to her boyfriend.

"Alright, I'll just come by your place later. Bye, Sasuke-kun."

_Oh_.

* * *

What was that phrase? Get out of doge?

Well the moment Sakura heard Sasuke's name, she high-tailed it out of there, as fast as she could and as quietly as she could. What the hell did she just hear?

As she ran back to where Hinata is, the conversation kept replaying over and over _and over _in her head.

_Sasuke-kun… Sasuke-kun…_

Damn it, she shouldn't be feeling like this! Like someone just threw a bucket of ice cold water on her, her heart hammering away and her little lungs, bursting for air.

Sakura slides down one of the empty chairs outside the clinic, patting that area above her heart. As if that could temper the wild beating.

What should she make of this? She didn't have the whole story, or know the whole conversation for that matter, but wasn't it pretty obvious? And so it shouldn't bother her at all. What Sasuke does and with whom is _none _of her business.

Not anymore.

Had Sasuke moved on like she always wanted him to?

Before she could go down the rabbit hole of her thoughts, she hears the door to the clinic open and out comes a preoccupied Hinata. In her hands is a large brown envelope that she couldn't tear her eyes from.

"Hinata?"

"Sakura-chan…" finally, she looks up, and amazingly, breaks into a wide smile. "Sakura-chan, it's a girl!"

* * *

Hinata was going to have a daughter. One of her bestfriends, pregnant and probably going to get married soon.

Sakura chuckles. What was _she _doing with her life? She's just now finishing her studies and is in a complicated relationship that shouldn't be all that complicated. And apparently, there's a part of her that will always be stuck in a previous toxic relationship.

But what kind of a friend would she be if she didn't immediately jump up and congratulate Hinata. And a baby girl! Kami, she's going to be one of the most spoiled princesses in the world.

The sound of someone coughing behind the two effectively stopped their hugging and shouting however.

A red head, all curves and supposed allure, stared at them with a cocky slant to her head and a hand poised suggestively at her hips. She wore the crisp white uniform nurse's usually wore and in her other hand was a clipboard.

"There may not be other people around but I can assure you that the patients in the other rooms can still hear you."

"Oh. S-so sorry Karin-san. I was just... We were just…" Hinata glances at the Ob-Gyne's office behind her and blushes.

The red head, Karin, adjusts her glasses and scrutinized Hinata and the envelope in her hand, glancing at the door of the clinic they were outside off, and then Sakura. In fact, as the flower haired girl was irked to notice, this girl, Karin, is giving her a head to toe glance.

Sakura decides that Karin held no resemblance to sunny and cheery Naruto at all. She knows it's terrible of her to judge off the bat, but something about her she just doesn't like.

"Don't worry, I won't tell my cousin your little… secret, if you make me your Maid of Honor for the wedding."

Karin winks at Hinata before she sashays off to who knows where, and Sakura doesn't know if the red head was just joking.

But at least she knows now what she disliked about her so much.

Sakura pockets her hands to hide their trembling.

That now sickly sweet voice, it was _her _Sakura heard on the rooftop.

* * *

A/N:

It has been a very long while.

I am warning you now, I'm going to rant a bit, so just pass on if you don't want to know.

I've been lazy in updating my stories so far because… well, I realize there really isn't any love in FFnet. It's true what Daisy said. There are a lot of people who read my stories but don't review at all. Sure, not all of them probably likes it, might not be their cup of tea.

But there's just too many readers and viewers for me to assume they don't at least follow the story.

And as a writer, it's really just disheartening.

Whatever.

I'm not taking my stories hostage though. I'll still finish all of them. I'd just like to air it out. A huge thank you to all the people who review though. I appreciate it a lot, for "Finding Our Song" and for "Nyx Eros."


	6. Sunshine

Chapter Six: Sunshine

* * *

A/N: The song is Sunshine, by All American Rejects. And it is my favourite song! There's a part of the song that goes: "Today is gone/ I'm the only light that you see/ You need someone/ I know all you needed was me."

Beautiful.

Disclaimer: I do not own the song featured here, nor the manga/anime Naruto

* * *

Sleep never came easily for Sasuke anymore.

Most people would say it's the horrors of his past that kept him up at night. With his family gone, as well as the tragic demise of his brother and his girlfriend, would it be surprising if he had a few cracks along the edges?

Lying in bed with a pale, feminine, arm snaked around his torso, Sasuke knows that it never had anything to do with nightmares or grief.

What it is, is an amalgamation of more frustration at life than a normal person expects to have in a lifetime. At least, Sasuke thinks it is. How else would he explain the clusterfuck his life has become?

Frustration, huh?

But he _is _Uchiha Sasuke, and he isn't about to go crying about it. Whatever you got out of this life, you're supposed to take it like a man. Not that there's really anything else you can do about it.

Just try to let it go.

Sasuke eases the hand off him gently and sits at the edge of the bed. It's dark and even the wide open window failed to bring in enough light. Then again, it is raining, and maybe it's just the incessant, torrent of water that's keeping him up _this_ night.

"Sasuke-kun? Why are you still awake?"

He looks back to the woman in his bed. Long, mussed up hair that isn't chocolate brown or soft pink, but red. Tired eyes that were the same shade as her hair, not amber or clear green.

"It's nothing. Go back to sleep Karin."

The woman, far too sleepy to do otherwise, concedes, leaving Sasuke back to ponder all the other contrasting features.

He sighs.

And tries to let everything go all over again.

* * *

It's been two days since Sasuke last saw her.

Not that he wants to see Sakura. In fact, he's gone out of his way just to _not_ run into her. He's holed himself in his office which resulted in his decimating his paperwork to practically nil. Hell, he's even been avoiding Naruto in every manner possible and _that _is not an easy task.

He doubts she'd want to be anywhere near him anyway.

So when he got the text, a simple, one-liner _"We need to talk," _he was surprised. Seemingly innocent yet loaded with a billion reasons and possibilities.

And that's how, for the second time that week, Sasuke finds himself in his old highschool's defunct soccer field. He remembers, a hundred years ago some sweltering afternoon much like now, waiting here for the same girl in the very same place so they could go home together. Because of course, his mother did raise him to be a gentleman, and of course Sasuke you have to make sure she gets home safely, she's a girl. Or so his mother would often say.

He'd be lying if he said he isn't nervous. The reason why she asked him out there to talk could range from wanting to catch up to having a big shouting blow out, neither of which he wants to deal with.

And so he waits, for once.

When Sakura arrives, it isn't from afar where she could be easily seen, halo-ed by the setting sun or some other kind of fanfare. No, she approaches quietly, and sits beside him on the grass, like she's been there all along. Honestly, Sasuke thinks maybe she has.

"Hey."

"Hn. How'd you get my number?"

"Oh. I asked Ino."

"Oh."

They sit there, stuck in a game of who'll give in and talk first. Well it's not going to be him, as years of experience should've made clear. Besides, _she _initiated this.

"Look. So Hinata and I went to the hospital two days ago. She's pregnant, it's a girl."

"So?" Sasuke leans back, with his elbows supporting his body on the sloping ground. So? Did Sakura bring him out here just to talk gossip?

"_So_… Your bestfriend is the father! Tell Naruto to marry Hinata damn it." She says this while giving him a light slap on the back of his head; a habit that Sasuke thought had died in highschool.

The rest of her ranting is lost to Sasuke. It's the first time she's _touched _him in forever.

"Hey, are you listening to me?"

He turns to Sakura, radiant in her righteous anger at being ignored. She's huffing like she's out of breath, turning her cheeks a little redder. Her hair, a little bit disheveled. But none of those could take away from the fire in her eyes. Mighty Sakura; pity the man who falls in the path of her crosshairs.

Sasuke stands up and dusts off his pants. "Tch, a few days here and already you think you can dictate our lives?"

"Well at least I'm doing something about it, damn it! If it were up to you, you'd probably just watch along the sidelines."

"Have you ever thought that maybe it's not your decision to make? Has Hinata even _told _Naruto yet?"

At that, Sakura seems taken aback. She inclines her head to the side and whispers that Hinata's too afraid of what Naruto might think and how he'd react. "She actually believes Naruto would be mad."

Sasuke scoffs at that. Nothing would make Naruto happier than having a family of his own.

He sighs. "How do we do this then?"

Sakura, deep in thought, crosses her arms and bites her lower lip. Then, all at once, her eyes brighten as she looks at him.

"Let's call the others."

* * *

Sasuke stands at the edge, his leather boots nearly touching the waters.

The Uchiha family was— _is, _an illustrious family. They're one of the richest in Konoha, owning many lands along the outskirts of town. One of Sasuke's favorite is the massive Lake Okugi, with its small islet in the middle, levelled and sprouting towering pine trees. The lake itself is beautiful, calming if he has to admit it; with waters so clear, you could see through the very bottom.

It's always been a place where, if he found the whole world too tedious, he could just escape to.

Unless it's being hijacked by his so called friends.

"_Finally, _they're here," Sakura mutters while looking at the opposite bank, chin propped up with one hand.

Sasuke looks on ahead to where she's pointing. From afar, he could just make out Yamanaka yelling at the ever lazy Nara and Akimichi as they try to row the boat faster. Behind them, one by one coming out of Hyuuga Neji's van, are the other members of their highschool group.

"_Why? _Why did it have to be out here in the middle of nowhere Uchiha?" the disgruntled Shikamaru tosses the oars back to the small boat when the three get off. From afar, Neji and Kiba pull the nylon rope attached to the hull of the boat, pulling it towards them in the bank.

Sasuke's long made sure that there was only one way to the islet.

"Don't ask me, it was _her _idea," Sasuke says, pointing to Sakura.

Sakura's reunion with Shikamaru and Chouji is decidedly tamer than the one she had with him and Naruto. No awkward tension, no angry crying. Just smiles and a '_hey_'or an '_I didn't know you were back._'

Of course, to Shikamaru or Chouji, Sakura was never more than a passing friend. She never made them any fucking promises… She was never a _constant. _

Even the others, when they crossed over, greet her the same. Tenten and Kiba seem more excited than the others, sure, actually hugging (or in Kiba's case, nearly tackling) Sakura. And Lee… Lee is just a whole other story.

"My fair Sakura! Have you permanently come back to grace us with your youthful presence?"

What the fuck do you say to that? He almost wants to laugh at Sakura's obvious discomfort. Almost.

As Sasuke watches all of them interact, he feels the overwhelming urge to leave quietly. Shikamaru, as expected, finds a spot where he can lie down and disregard everybody else. Chouji sits beside the genius, having a one-sided conversation about what he should have for dinner.

Neji and Shino, probably the only other people in the group he can stand to be with for a short while, find their own spots and proceed to make perfect imitations of statues. Ino, for some reason, seems to be mad at Sakura about something, judging from the way she keeps scowling at her direction.

Tenten and Kiba are planning some kind of welcoming party for Sakura while Lee's still making a complete ass of himself.

You can't escape highschool can you?

The only ones missing are of course, Naruto and Hinata. And if the stupid blonde was there too, then screw it all, he would take the one boat and get the hell out of there. Consequences be damned, they could all swim to the shore for all he cares.

But like clockwork, after a few minutes, they all manage to sit in a circle, with Sakura sitting opposite him.

"I'm sure you're all wondering," Sakura begins as she stands up, "why I've come back to Konoha. Well, it's about Hinata. And by association, Naruto."

"What's that idiot done now?" Kiba asks, fangs barred. The dog lover, along with Shino, had always been close to the Hyuuga heiress. Hinata never could leave an injured animal well enough alone so she was a regular at the Inuzuka veterinary clinic.

Sakura blushes as she tries to explain. How _do _you explain such a thing as your friends _fucking?_ "They're a couple, and uh, they do couple stuff so—"

"Hinata's pregnant. Stop fucking around Sakura."

The look everyone throws at him— shock, disgust, and annoyance, amuse Sasuke. He'll never get why people want to dance around before getting to the point. This never made him popular with the group; in fact most of them have openly expressed what a bastard he is.

Not now though. They're too busy yelling what an asshole Naruto is, yelling at Sakura, yelling at each other.

Curiously, Neji is silent. He sits, with eyes closed and arms crossed. If Sasuke didn't know any better, it would look like the Hyuuga is meditating. That seems like something he would do, drown out the racket around him.

Maybe _he _should give meditating a try. Between the angry voices at night and the daily, nagging, worrying, and all around drama the people in his life provide, he is in desperate need of quiet. But right now, all he can do is stare out into the waters, turning everyone into background noise.

"How long?"

It's Neji.

He talks, calm and cool, like someone just asked him if he didn't mind waiting for his order (_oh I'm sorry sir, can you wait while we wrap that up for you?)_ effectively quieting the rest. His face is void of emotions, like it normally is. Doesn't he care, Sasuke wonders. No, most probably he's just accepted his cousin's pregnancy as a product of fate.

"She just found out the gender of the baby, so I'd say around four to five months… It's a girl by the way." Sakura supplies, probably fishing from years of stored medical knowledge.

"A girl… she's going to be a spoiled little shit." Kiba says out loud, more for himself than anybody else, "And I'm personally gonna make sure of that."

"Look, the baby isn't the problem. It's Hinata and Naruto. She's too scared to tell Naruto because she's afraid that he'd leave her." At that, like him, everyone scoffs. "Yes, yes, Naruto would never do that. But the faster he finds out, the faster he marries Hinata."

"Damn well he should!" Ino cries indignantly from Sakura's side.

"So what are we doing here? Are we planning a baby shower?" Shino asks, his voice, too serious to be sarcastic.

Sasuke sighs, they weren't getting anywhere with this.

"The problem isn't so much Naruto not marrying Hinata, it's Hinata's father not allowing Naruto to marry his daughter. Neji, what's the worst case scenario?"

The Hyuuga closes his eyes thoughtfully. "Hiashi-sama may disinherit her and cut off all ties."

Sasuke notices Sakura cringe. She always did believe the best in people. "That's harsh. What would be the _best _case scenario?"

"Best case scenario, he might throw Hinata out," Neji says surely, gravely.

A hush falls over them, the reality of the situation setting in.

And here Sasuke thought _his_ father was strict.

* * *

In the end, they decide that Hinata has to be the one to tell Naruto. How weird would it be if one of them just went up to him in the streets and said, "_Hey dude, your girlfriend's pregnant. See ya._'"

Naruto would have a heart attack.

Sasuke chuckles as he imagines his bestfriends would-be bewildered expression. The idea does have its merits, and what Sasuke wouldn't give (okay, there are probably a lot of things he wouldn't give) for that.

About Hinata's almost certain state of homelessness, she's probably going to stay with the dobe anyway. And even if that doesn't pan out, like for some fucking reason Naruto flakes out on her, well then there are ten people in town who'll be willing to beat reason into his head.

This left one problem Sasuke's already foreseen from day one.

"Is that offer to stay at your house still open?"

The others left first (though Ino did so grudgingly), leaving the two of them still rowing to the other side.

Sasuke looks at Sakura, her arms crossed as if to guard herself, her eyes deliberately looking away, and of course, that tell-tale blush on her cheeks. He knows he _shouldn't_ be her first choice.

Yamanaka would've gladly taken her on— if she wasn't living with Shikamaru. Naruto would, in a heartbeat, but then with Hinata, it would've been too cramped. Still, there were others. Tenten, Lee, maybe even Shino, if she could live with his outdoor insect farm.

And there _is _the case of the boyfriend. He definitely could help.

But she asked _him _first.

Him.

She needed _him. _

And Sasuke knows that. He _exults _in that.

"When should I pick you up?"

* * *

A/N:

Oh, but well, you know.

I whole heartedly thank everyone who took the time to review. It really made me write faster! True story.

Thanks to LilyVampire, Wrathan, That Guy, annesthetique (cool name, btw), phy, and ElevatedJewel. Thanks for the love, the fluffy love! Thanks also to this one person who reviewed and didn't leave a name so I can't give him or her a shoutout. Thanks though!

Anyway. As usual, leave a review people. Keep the love going.


	7. Flightless Bird

Chapter Seven: Flightless Bird

A/N: Yes, yes, it's not exactly the title of the song. It's just half of it in fact. But I'm going to use the other half for the next chapter. For those of you who don't know, the song is "Flightless Bird, American Mouth" by Iron and Wine. I listened to the Wedding Version of this song for this chapter.

Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own the song featured here, nor the manga/anime Naruto.

* * *

Summers in Konoha has always been… lazy.

Outside, the leaves flutter like emerald crisps, cicadas sing in a round chorus, and Sakura sighs and lies down on the hardwood floors of her new room. New because she's never really stayed long in this part of Sasuke's house… She's always stayed in _his _room.

But anyway.

Her bags are unpacked, clothes hung in the closet, and new blankets laid on her new bed.

New, new, new.

Except she didn't feel new.

No, around here, she feels like an old ghost, come home at last.

Although she's never had any illusions of coming back here, here in his house of all places (okay, maybe, yes, but just to show how much she's changed, immune, stronger), it incensed her how even after six years, she still knows in what cupboard he kept his coffee. Or which floorboards creaked when you stepped on them.

There are even times she can barely leave her room in the silly fear that she'd just be absorbed by the rest of the house, like she _belonged_.

But it's not all her, she thinks. Some of the… fault, had to dwell with him too.

Maybe this all just means that it's _him _that hasn't changed in the last six years.

Maybe. Probably.

She turns to lie on her side so she can look at the very much open window, with the hot and lazy summer wind going in and blowing her _new _white, lace curtains all over the place.

Sasuke's not changing at all, is that a comfort or something to be sad about?

Her years in Suna, other than the extension of her medical knowledge and experience, had given her a backbone she's surprised to have developed. A little fairy princess of a girl is never going to be taken seriously in a big city, not without learning how to wear stiletto heels and stomping on a few people's toes she isn't.

And she's had to fend for herself out there, no Naruto or Sasuke to keep the lechers at bay, or Ino to stress-eat some Hot Fudge Sundae with. She's learned how to survive.

But most of all, she learned that she was _enough. _

Strong _enough _to get through medical school, all the while restarting her whole life. Competent _enough _to command the respect of her professors and peers. That she— Sakura, just Sakura, was _enough _for someone to want to spend their life with. Maybe even forever.

_Gaara-kun…_

And that was something that she had to figure out soon.

What about Sasuke though?

Had nothing that's happened affected him? Not even the things that have happened to them?

Images of forehead taps, feathery, long lashes, and rare smiles that might as well have just been quirks of the lips paraded around her head.

As Sakura stands up to leave the room, she tries to push down how absurdly hopeful that made her feel.

* * *

"I can't believe how incredibly _stupid _this— _you_, are!"

Sakura peruses the little, laminated menu, thinking of maybe ordering lemon tea with a _lot _of honey. "I know piggy."

"I saw it coming from a mile away."

"I don't even know how it escaped me."

"… So have you jumped Sasuke yet?"

"_Ino!"_

Putting a hand over her best friend's mouth, Sakura is wondering whether the stupid idea was temporarily moving in with Sasuke, or telling Ino about it. Seriously, the blonde had no filters. Reminding her of another blonde she knew.

Turning to the raven haired heiress by her side, she had to ask, "Hey Hinata-chan. Any news on the Naruto front?"

"Y-yes. I'm planning on telling him tonight, we're going out for dinner… And then, whatever Naruto's reaction may be, I'm telling my father tomorrow."

Sakura smiles. Hinata had never been the most outspoken when they were children, always in the background, always in the shadows. Maybe her being around Naruto had some positive impact on her life after all. Aside from the baby girl she's soon to birth into the world that is.

See, change is good, Sakura affirms.

_New _is good.

"Hey! Don't think you're getting away with this easily forehead! Answer my question."

Sakura doesn't know what to tell Ino. Her reactions could range from an innocent and firm 'no', to an outraged 'how could you even think that piggy?' All of it would be true, it's not like she intended to start things up with Sasuke when she asked if she could move in… It's just that, well, _he _offered.

Ino groans and rakes her fingers through her hair. "Silence isn't what I want to hear from you Sakura."

"Then what do you _want _to hear Ino? I can only take this one day at a time; I don't exactly have a plan. I only came back here for Hinata…"

It doesn't escape Sakura's notice the way her friends look at each other, or how they don't say anything else afterwards. But honestly? She didn't really have the presence of mind to prove herself to them.

Maybe they wanted to hear her say that it was a mistake that she ever went back to _that _house, back to Konoha. 'Cause she's beginning to think that it was.

Did they want her to say that she was in over her head? 'Cause yes, she most definitely is.

Or maybe they wanted to hear how much Sasuke didn't affect her one bit, that he didn't know how to get under her skin anymore…

"Does your boyfriend at least know?" Ino asks her when their orders come in.

Does Gaara know she's living with her… Sasuke? What _was_ he to her? What were they even back then?

"Gaara knows I'm with a friend…"

She sighs. Okay, even that one sounded wrong to her. She looks at Ino, wagging her finger at her like she's a child, and Hinata, smiling at her without judging.

"Wouldn't it be better to tell Gaara-san before he finds out another way, Sakura-chan?"

As always, Hinata is a well of wisdom.

With how busy Gaara's been with the renovation however (and she knows how focused he can be) it'd be a surprise if she could get a word in.

Still, it wouldn't be a bad idea to drop by…

* * *

"_Sasuke, you like her don't you?"_

She remembers that he didn't answer her… but did he do anything else?

That afternoon, he sat at the edge of the window sill, side towards the cool glass, but he was looking out. Out there, to _her _who danced under the setting sun.

Classes had ended, and for some reason or another, she and Sasuke had stayed back. And she sat in her seat, and Sakura remarked how he was _there_, but still untouchable. It felt like there were three people in the room instead of two, because _of course she _was here (there)—in his subconscious and seeping out from his thoughts into the air.

_Asami._

Did he say anything else then?

But he didn't really have to. She could see it in the way his eyes were probably following her. Asami was going further and further away, and Sasuke was leaving with her.

She remembers that he didn't answer her… and that there was nothing that she could do.

* * *

Classroom 4-7.

Whenever Sakura thought of _the good ol' days_, she thought of highschool and this room specifically. It really is true, they were the glory days of youth. And for Sakura, it was the time before practically everything went to shit.

Oh, it was starting to head there. But she could at least pretend then that it was never going to happen.

She still remembers which seat was hers. She sashays to the front of the room, to the chair at the very middle, and sits. The chair, as the others, is already rickety and coated in a thin layer of dust. But she could still make out the faint scent of resin and the words she had scribbled on it in boredom.

_Naruto is (lame crossed out) awesome!_

_Wanna go to the mall later Ino-pig?_

_Sasuke... no baka!_

_Sakura loves (furious scribbling to hide a name)_

The gang, as they had (lamely and lazily) called themselves, were always in the same classes since elementary, except for the elder Hyuuga, his girlfriend Tenten, and the ever energetic Lee. The rest, if she closed her eyes, she could still see as they were back then.

Shikamaru would of course be dozing off in the back, with Chouji eating a bag of chips in secret. Ino-pig would be sitting beside her, sometimes even attempting to sneak a look in her test papers. Hinata would be on the other side, studious as always. Kiba and Naruto would be in another row, arguing about who's better at whatever testosterone-fueled activity. Shino would be right beside them, in case it ever broke into an actual fight. Again. And Sasuke, he would be…

"Kaka-sensei!"

Sakura starts when someone slams the doors open. A shock of blonde hair, blue eyes, and a messy, untucked shirt. "Naruto."

"Oh… hey Sakura-chan."

They stare at each other for a good few seconds, unsure what to say next. Based on their last meeting… well, things weren't too good. And Naruto looked awkward as hell, he couldn't even look her in the eye. So of course she's anxious when, for some reason, he decides to walk towards her, and sits on the chair besides her.

"Sakura-chan… I'm sorry for being an ass the other night."

She thinks back, to the Naruto of her memories. In her mind, he was always loud, and boisterous, and smiling, and just laughing. This Naruto, silent and even hesitant, she doesn't know if she's comfortable with him. He's changed _too_, and she doesn't know if she likes it.

But then, that's the price she pays for leaving for six years, she guesses, to barely even recognize one of her most cherished people.

Sakura takes his hand in his, trying to communicate forgiveness, trying to communicate an apology of her own. And to her delight, he squeezes her hand back.

"Hey. Why were you looking for Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura wipes at the tears that had gathered at the corners of her eyes, unknowingly.

"Oh well, you know…" Naruto sighs and rakes a hand through his hair. "Can you keep a secret Sakura-chan?"

At that, her eyebrows scrunch together. "What are you planning Naruto?"

"Hinata and I are going out to dinner tonight… And I'm going to ask her to marry me!"

To say that she was shocked… she knows that her mouth was wide open, and the way Naruto smiles lets her know that it was the expression he hoped. "Oh my god, Naruto I'm so happy for you!"

She encircles Naruto in a hug, dragging their chairs together, the steel legs scraping across the floor. In the back of her head, she wonders what lucky stars were present when Hinata was born. Silently, she thanked each one of them. The girl really did deserve all the happiness in the world, and if Naruto was what made her happy, then so be it.

"But wait," Sakura says when she finally lets him go, "Why are you looking for Kakashi-sensei?"

"Because I'm kinda nervous Sakura-chan. Maybe he has some advice for me. I know to all of you I'm the ultimate model of awesomeness," Sakura rolls her eyes at that, seems some things stay the same, "But I feel like I'm minutes away from breaking into hives! Even the teme had to give me a pep talk! Can you imagine?"

Could she imagine that his bestfriend for maybe all of eternity, no matter how emotionally constipated, would want him to be happy? "Come on Naruto, give him some credit. Remember when he took the fall for you when you tee-peed Mizuki-sensei's house?"

"Oh yeah. They wouldn't have let me graduate junior high if I'd been caught."

"Exactly. Sasuke cares for you, dummy."

Naruto smiles, silent, but he looks at her from the side, like a kid eager to share something. "He cares about you too, you know."

"Yeah… maybe."

_Did_ she know that? Sure she and Sasuke have been (_had _been?) friends for so long and there were some _really _good times back then, wasn't there? But with how messed up it all turned out in the end, she just wasn't so sure anymore.

"Don't sugar coat it Naruto, tell me, how is he? Has he… changed?"

"Well…" Naruto presses his lips together into a thin line, and proceeds to tell him how a year after she left, he finally got fed up and just kicked Sasuke out of the house, justso he'd _at least_ go out. The gang had thought he'd just continue drinking all over town but for some reason, he got a job at the police station. "And now the bastard's captain."

Sakura thumbs the crossed out name on her chair. "And… and he's okay now?"

Naruto hums, deep in thought. "I think that's something you'll have to see for yourself Sakura-chan. Have you two at least talked?"

Talk? He was barely home, as he'd promised her when he first offered her a room. But she couldn't help but feel that he was trying. For one, they weren't getting on each other's' nerves. And he'd always tell her if he'd be out late or ask her if she needed anything.

But most of the time, it felt like he was just _there, _occupying space.

And Sakura doesn't know how hectic being head of police could be in a town like Konoha, but she'd be naïve not to think that he's not avoiding her in the littlest bit.

Or maybe he's out gallivanting with that red head nurse.

Sakura wonders if she should ask Naruto about this Karin girl, his supposed cousin. But she shakes her head and leaves it, and Naruto, alone. She has a red head of her own to find, one who's walking around and working to renovate and redesign the building.

A thought pops into her head as she wanders off. If this place looked any different, would her memories of it be just as powerful?

She finds Gaara in the school's faculty room, all by himself and drowning in musty old blueprints.

"You need any help there mister big-shot architect?" She approaches him, trying very hard not to laugh. Honestly, he's never been a good team player, always has to do things by himself.

He gives her a smile when she takes the last of the papers off his head. "And how can I repay you for your kindness, m'lady."

"How about that date you promised me?"

* * *

"Sakura, why are you hiding under the table?"

Said woman looked up from her menu. She wasn't technically under the table… she was just slumping low enough so she couldn't be seen.

"Well, you said you wanted to meet my friends. See those two in the table by the window?" Sakura points to a blonde sweating out of his suit, and a dark haired girl whose face was as red as a tomato. "My bestfriend and his girlfriend."

"Ah. The man who cried because of you the other night." Gaara goes through his menu and smiles at Sakura's antics. "And we're here because…?"

"Well he's going to propose and she's going to tell him she's pregnant," Sakura whispers to him as if it was answer enough. And it was. With Gaara, he always seemed to know what she was thinking before she said it.

And that scared her a bit.

"It seems like you're not the only one who thought of spying on them," Gaara remarks.

When Sakura looks around, she notices for the first time that Ino and Shikamaru were on another table, wearing shades (_at night?_), Tenten and Lee posing as waiters, and Neji, playing the piano in the middle of the room.

In a word, they all looked too shifty to be natural.

"Yeah… My friends can't really grasp the concept of private moments sometimes."

"Oh, I'm sure."

Sakura looks at Gaara seriously. Another person might have taken offense at being asked on a date just so she could spy on her friends. Hell, she herself would have been annoyed. But maybe, she smiles and ribs the red head good naturedly, that's why Gaara was good for her.

"_Kami—! You're pregnant?"_

From where they were, she could see Naruto stand up and knock over a glass of champagne. He didn't _look _mad, just stunned. Definitely more shocked than she was this afternoon. The rest of the room seems to have stopped and looked on at them with bated breath.

"_H-hai Naruto. I'm only telling y-you, you don't have to m-marry me or anything."_

"_Are you crazy woman?" _Naruto scrambles to the carpeted floor, where the champagne had fallen over. Ah, of course he would have gone for the old put the ring in the champagne trick.

"_Of course I'm going to marry you," _he takes Hinata's pale, trembling hand in his and slips the ring on, "_And I'm not going to take no for an answer!"_

When they, finally, embrace, Sakura releases the breath she didn't realize she'd been holding.

* * *

After Naruto proposed, the whole gang started coming out of the woodwork. She didn't even want to think about the health code violations Chouji, Kiba and Shino probably committed before they came out of the kitchen. What the happy couple probably thought was going to be a quiet and private celebration, immediately turned into an engagement party.

And Sakura thought it was as good a time as any to finally introduce Gaara to the gang.

Not because Sasuke wasn't there, _of course_— or so she tells herself.

It definitely made things easier though.

Now that the excitement had gone, and Gaara had decided to turn in for the night (because he had a big day tomorrow and he should at least try to sleep _this time_), Sakura finds herself alone at the bar, nursing a glass of scotch, and thinking… thinking of where her life was going.

It's a curse she supposes. One of your friends gets married and you immediately start wondering if you'll die an old maid.

Years ago, with Sasuke… well there was never really a "with Sasuke." All there was, was a stupid girl in love with a boy who was still in love with someone else. A plan for marriage wasn't really in the works. _Oh_, but she hoped alright.

And now, with Gaara, who all but offered the world to her… for some reason, it's _her _who was running away from that possibility. She could reason it's because she still hasn't gotten over the hurt; she's just taking it easy. Guarding the botched up patch job she called her heart.

But she'd already decided it was time to move on with Gaara, hadn't she? It definitely looked like Sasuke's wasted no time in that department.

"You look deep in thought."

Speak of the devil and he shall come.

"I thought you weren't going to show, Sasuke."

He was still in his uniform, sans the coat and tie. Was that a smudge of lipstick on his neck?

Sakura grips her glass and looks away. Whatever, it definitely wasn't her business.

"The dobe would have talked my ear off if I hadn't."

"Yeah, sure."

"Well aren't you chipper. I heard you were parading your boyfriend before I came here."

She hates it that she blushes at that. Why would she? She isn't hiding anything. "I didn't _parade _him Sasuke. He wanted to meet the gang, so I introduced him. Too bad, you should've arrived earlier so—"

"Are you happy Sakura?"

Is she happy? What kind of question was that?

She looks at Sasuke, listlessly eyeing the glass the bartender just gave him, and she can only guess at what he was really asking her.

Are you happy with him?

Are you happy with how things turned out?

Are you happy _now_?

All of it left a bitter taste in her mouth. So ignore it she will, like she's done for the last six years.

"Why do you care Sasuke?"

He chuckles and whispers something in her ear before he leaves.

"I've always cared Sakura."

* * *

Sasuke asked her once, why she bothered to come when all the others had stopped.

"_Why do you care Sakura?_"

The funeral had been weeks past and he had snapped and snarled at any and everyone who even _dared _to drop by and check up on him, including her. Ino, Shikamaru and the rest of the gang had long given up. Even Naruto.

So why indeed?

It's not like he acknowledged her presence at all. Most of the times, he just slept through everything, natural or alcohol-induced. And those were days she was grateful for. Because there were _bad days_, dark days, when he'd throw fits, smashing everything he could lay his hands on.

It was like he was just possessed with the need to _destroy._

And afterwards, she would hold him as he was wracked in sobs, hold him as if she could keep him together and keep him from falling apart. Because those days, it felt like it was the only thing she could do.

So why?

"_I've always cared Sasuke."_

* * *

The next day, Sakura wakes up feeling cold.

It felt like it had rained after she'd fallen asleep and everything's just covered in a blanket of _cold_.

And lethargy.

And yawns.

But oddly enough, it was refreshing.

Bones pop as she gets up. She had to make plans. Now that Hinata was getting married, did she still have to stay in town?

Sakura wandered off to the kitchen to make a sandwich, headphones in place, and she hoped to high heavens that Sasuke had already left. She didn't know if he had come home before her, she hadn't bothered to check. What he said, it still unnerved her.

But of course, when had Sasuke ever followed her expectations.

She nearly drops the butter knife when he comes into the room, wearing nothing but his pajamas. She's blushing because he caught her dancing, she tells herself, not because he's _topless. _And because they at least have to be civil, she smiles and greets him good morning.

Sasuke… he really is a presence unto himself. Anywhere he goes, he seems to just command the attention. And as _hard _as Sakura tries to ignore him, she can still feel his every stride in the room. Feel the warm heat of him when he brushes near.

Maybe it will always be like this for her, for them. Sasuke will _always _affect her simply because of who he is. And what he is to her…

So that's it, she thinks absent mindedly.

She never thought it would be easy, hell she never even thought it would be possible, to forget Sasuke. And even after six years, after all her wanting for change, some things just never will.

But that doesn't mean she can't still try to move on.

Right?

"Sakura, you're blocking the coffee maker."

Sakura is brought out of her musing when she feels a pair of warm hands on her waist. She stiffens at the contact, still on edge, but she smiles as she turns anyway. Because she can do this, and maybe someday, nothing Sasuke does will ever matter to her.

Except when he moves her from the counter, she makes the mistake of looking up at him. At those deep, dark eyes.

And even before his lips tentatively touch hers, she knows she's already lost.

* * *

A/N:

And I am back lovelies!

Thanks a lot to all the people who reviewed and I really wish a lot more of you had an account so I could reply personally. I love all your reviews, you make me really feel confident! So spread the love guys!

And special thanks to Meemy-chan who got me to write my ass off!

Good gravy boat, did Sasuke and Sakura just kiss?

Reviews are very much appreciated. What do you guys think of the Gaiden by the way? The fandom is just bouncing off the walls!


	8. American Mouth

Chapter Eight: American Mouth

A/N: Very short Author's Note at the end. Thanks.

Disclaimer: I do not own the song featured here, nor the manga/anime Naruto

* * *

_Breathe in._

_Breathe out. _

He could feel the burn in his thighs, in his stomach, in his arms. If Sasuke kept going, he knew it would spread to his lungs and chest next. But, like always, he didn't care. Not about the beads of sweat rolling down from his neck to the arch of his back. And not about the painful dryness of his throat.

He just keeps running.

On and on.

Just let it all _burn_.

During one of his sessions with his therapist— okay, that one time he _actually_ went, the man said something about taking up a hobby. Something he could keep himself busy with, something he could lose himself in. And Sasuke thought: running.

He always used to love doing that when he was a kid.

He used to run with Itachi in the woods of their estate, though he never was fast _enough_, never was strong _enough_, to catch up to him… He'd watch Itachi's retreating back, the swinging of his long hair. Until Itachi would inevitably stop and turn, smile and wait for him to… to what? To think that he'd be able to reach him, only to see that he's once again moving further and further away?

There was just something about running that felt like he was completely in control of his actions. Only _he _decides where to go and when to stop, even if his body was begging him for rest. In a way, it made him feel… free.

It was the only thing in his life that he could control at the moment, and everyone needs at least that.

Sasuke stops and leans on a tree, the rough bark gashing the skin on his arm, his breath coming out in bursts. Another bonus of this was the damn view. He was high enough to see most of the town— high enough that when he breathed in, he could_ taste_ the cold and the pines. Even from afar, he could still see the waters of Lake Okugi reflecting the mid-morning sun. And it hurt just to look at it.

He wonders, _today_, is he still running to catch up to someone? Or is he doing this to leave something behind?

Whichever it was, visions of pink and green dance inside his head without him even trying. Because of course it would… Because of course _she _would. There's not much he does or sees today that doesn't make him think of Sakura.

He passed by the fair the other day and he started imagining her hair as cotton candy.

Suigetsu, that ass, brought roses for whichever lady officer he was harassing for the week and Sasuke thought, he'd have been better off giving her cherry blossoms.

Sakura's only moved in a day or two, but he's already rearranging his schedule just for her. In that he'd manage to _not_ see her in the past two days since he brought her home. And he's man enough not to deny the fact that he's… _scared_— scared to know if it would still be like she never left. If he'd ever come home to the smell of her cooking in the kitchen or if he'd stumble on one of her shirts, that smell so much like her, lying around.

But he also knows that… he'd be even more scared to find that he wouldn't recognize the stranger he's let stay inside his home.

Sasuke sighs and pushes himself off the tree.

Up here, as he takes it all in, Sasuke hopes that someday… he'd be able to find that he's already run _enough_, long _enough_, to finally stop.

* * *

"_Sasuke!"_

The aforementioned, irate police chief rues the day.

"_Hey Sasuke-teme, wait up!_"

In fact Sasuke _curses _the day that he met the loudmouth blonde. The one he's apparently engaged in a bromance with, not the female counterpart Sakura is lugging around with her. Though he would probably feel the same about Ino if _she _was bugging him right now.

Is Naruto stupid enough to be lost after a couple of turns around the building? No, unfortunately, probably not.

"What," Sasuke starts as he abruptly turns to Naruto, "do you want dobe?"

"I have— damn it Sasuke you walk too fast!"

He contemplates just leaving Naruto while he's catching his breath, but he knows the dobe would never leave him alone. What could be so urgent that he'd go to the station, during office hours no less?

"Sasuke, we have to talk."

There's a hint of seriousness that's so uncharacteristic of the blonde that he just finds himself agreeing. Sasuke closes the blinds when they enter his office. Even though the blonde visiting is a regular occurrence, he knows Naruto would want to say it— whatever it is he wanted to say, in private.

Maybe it was about Hinata again. Had Naruto finally figured it out?

"I… I'm going to ask Hinata-chan to marry me."

He couldn't help raising an eyebrow. "Uh… congratulations?"

"Damn it teme, I'm not screwing around here!"

"I didn't say that you were, idiot! I just—" Sasuke massaged the ridge between his eyes as a precaution for the coming migraine. "Just a few days ago you were so worried about her cheating on you and now you want to tie yourself to her?"

Sasuke _knows _that Hinata isn't cheating on his best friend, and he shouldn't have any problems about this. If they get married, then problem solved. Hinata has a baby daddy and Naruto gets his happily ever fucking after. What he _does _have a problem with is the blonde's naivety and the overall, finicky way he makes his decisions.

"Look, I know it's kinda' crazy. You said she's not seeing someone else, but I knowshe's hiding _something_ from me." Naruto sighs and scratches the back of his head. "And the way I see it, if she says yes, then she's not having an affair and I can just ask her… If she doesn't, well then, I'd know."

"Yeah… You'd know."

As Naruto crosses the door of his office, Sasuke notices the way his shoulders are squared— he's practically bracing himself for impact. He supposes… Naruto isn't the same idiot who skipped classes all the time in highschool.

"Hey, dobe… You know what you want, right?"

Blue against black, smirk against smirk.

"Of course… and you better believe I want Hinata!"

* * *

"_Sasuke, you like her don't you?"_

He remembers what she asked him… though not if she said anything else.

But he remembered sitting on the window sill, feeling the dull cold of the glass against his face in contrast to the warm glow of the setting sun. There was an undeniable sense of peace that he would always strive to recreate in the later years. Those damnable years after _that night. _Those years after _she _left.

What did he fucking know though? It was the glory days, and it would always be remembered through rose tinted glasses, as most wonderful things are viewed.

For all he knew, it was just the silence that he was enjoying.

Well, not really.

There was a small, crawling desperation in Sakura's voice— one that threatened to eat away not only at her, but also at him. He could feel her giving up, and he didn't even know what she was giving up _on._ She was going to walk farther and farther away from his reach.

Down below there was a girl, tall and willowy as a reed, a breath of fresh air.

_Asami._

He remembers what she asked him… but he never knew what she really meant.

* * *

Can't a man eat lunch in peace?

"You're an asshole you know. Don't think I don't know what you're planning."

_Always nice to see you Ino. Not. _

He watches as the woman unabashedly sits in the chair opposite him in the booth. Ino never was a fan of niceties or propriety. She pretty much said whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted, _if _it benefited her. And she never started an argument she didn't think she'd win.

So which would it be for today, Sasuke wondered.

"Yes, please, take the seat. Are you going to order or would you like to take my food too?"

If sarcasm could kill, Ino would be drowning in the thickly laid insinuation. But alas, even coupled with his patented death glare, she would not budge. Hell, the woman even has the nerve to deadpan him.

Fine. He'll play her game.

In between bites of noodles, he asks her about this nefarious plan he's supposed to have made, and assumes it's about Sakura. Sasuke thought that _surely_ she'd waste no time to jump at him, enumerate the many ways he's thought of bedding her _delicate _bestfriend and leaving her out to dry, how he's planning to somehow break up Sakura's relationship— all this for some fucking revenge plot.

None of it would have surprised him because… he's thought of it all himself. _God, _he's wrestled with doing _all _of it every night since she came back. The fact that she was so _close..._ Would she still be as soft as he fantasized in his dreams? Would she make the same delicious noises? And would that bastard boyfriend of hers know these things about her?

How fucking pathetic of him to think of her being back in his house as her actually _being back_ in his _life_.

But whatever reaction he expected Ino to have, it wasn't _this. _The way she's looking at him— eyes soft while peering at him, looking for who the fuck knows what; her mouth, pursing as if she's fighting off the words.

Sasuke wipes his mouth with a tissue and carelessly throws it in front of Ino. _Fuck this_, he didn't need to be thrown a fucking pity party.

But Ino grips his arm before he can fully leave.

"Do you think Sakura's happy?"

Sasuke sighs. He grabs his arm from Ino and decides to sit back down, much to his own amazement. "How would I know Yamanaka?"

"Maybe because you're _living with her?_" Sasuke raises an eyebrow at the sudden rising of her voice and he nearly swats her index finger when she shoves it in his face. "You— You've always been good at knowing what she's thinking. Sure, you were oblivious to her feelings, but you were _always _the one who understood her best."

He always understood her best?

What a load of bullshit that was.

Sakura was probably more of a mystery to him than to anyone else.

These days, Sakura's just a jumbled up jigsaw puzzle made up of all the things he could still remember about her— her sugary perfume, the way her cheeks turn ruddy when she's angry, the way her face fell when she left— and how he felt about her afterwards— anger, guilt… _regret_.

And he can't get a clear picture of her because she's taken a few of the pieces herself.

"Well?"

"I don't know. We haven't had time to talk yet… What has she told you?"

There have been many times in the past when Sasuke would have gladly given away his left arm just to hear news about Sakura. And nearly just as many times where he would berate himself for thinking it. And now that Ino's actually filling in the missing years, Sasuke finds that he's just as conflicted.

He folds his hands under his chin as he absorbs every detail. Part of him is glad for her— fucking elated even. Becoming a doctor is too big a dream for anyone in a small town like Konoha. But leave it to someone as _unexpected_ as Sakura to defy the norms. He still remembers the nights she'd keep him and Naruto awake while talking about the advances in medicine and the many, many children in third world countries she'd be able to help. The whole night, they'd just talk about their plans for the future, the many things that they _could _do with their lives.

And after all that, she'd taken away his and everyone else's chance to celebrate that achievement with her. Was it petty that he felt cheated? She was as much a part of their lives as they were in hers. Or at least, he _thought _they mattered as much.

Che.

He listens with as much forbearance as he could muster, with his heart beating in his chest so hard for who knows what reason (_anger, _he tells himself) and his hands growing cold and clammy.

Sasuke couldn't get away from there fast enough.

But the blonde in front of him stops talking, as if she could sense his malevolence— she probably could, and takes one hand in hers. "Remember in highschool, when Sakura's mom died and Tsunade-sama wanted to take her to Suna… but she chose to stay. I know that _you _know it wasn't just because she'd miss her friends or highschool."

Sasuke nodded. He remembered that year. His parents were… gone and Itachi had just left to take up his master's degree. He remembered the dust from Itachi's black pick-up truck as it drove down the driveway and into the horizon, all the while wondering how it would _finally _feel to be alone in that house. But it never came, because there was never a day where Sakura or Naruto wouldn't come over to check-up on him.

"Sakura didn't leave because… she wanted to make surethat _you_ were okay— that you were happy. Wouldn't you do the same for her?"

He looked into Ino's pleading eyes; she was practically begging him to do _something, _anything_. _

And all he could think of was that Sakura _did _leave.

And he didn't see her taking _him _or his _happiness _into consideration when she did.

* * *

A scratchy groan escapes his throat.

How the fuck did he get in bed?

_Whose _bed is he in?

Oh right. It was the blasted whiskey.

And the heated night air. And the way she stuck to him, her arms circling around his neck. Damn it.

Sasuke sank back into the bed, so much more aware of the other body beside his. His memory may be hazy but he had no doubt that things played out just like it always did most nights. He'd go to a bar and lo and behold, Karin would be there.

She's never there when he arrives but sure as day, she'd be wrapping herself around him before the night is over. It's like she could _sense _him, if that was at all plausible. But hey, never underestimate a fangirl.

Weirdly enough though, she never flaunted their "relationship"— if anyone could call it that (God knows _he_ doesn't), like he'd expect other fangirls would. It's probably just strategy. She knows how private he is and if no one knew, he wouldn't have a reason to terminate this… mutual service.

Stretching on his back, careful not to touch any part of Karin, Sasuke briefly considered not checking up on Naruto's big night. He's a big boy now, he can handle himself. He definitely didn't need him to hold his hand while he proposed to the soon-to-be mother of his child.

But if he knew his friends, they _definitely_ wouldn't be able to give the couple some space. They'd _all_ be there for some reason or another, no matter how convoluted.

And _she _would be there…

As quietly as possible, Sasuke rolls down the side of the bed. If he woke Karin up, he wouldn't be able to get rid of her for the rest of the night. And even though they were cousins, he doubted even Naruto would want the redhead there.

Without looking back, Sasuke makes his way into the night.

* * *

He feels like Scrooge. With the bloody ghost of Christmas Future.

Across the street from the restaurant, he looks in through the window to see that his friends had already started the celebration. He can imagine the bubbly sound of champagne being poured from the bottles, the clinking of glass, and the general merriment his friends usually brought with them. It almost feels surreal, like this was what the future would be without him. But then, he thinks, this is probably how they always are without him.

He sighs. Guess he missed the big proposal anyway.

Sasuke notices Sakura at the bar, alone. Even amidst the flurry of movement and excitement around, she still stood out like a beacon of light. And it wasn't because she's set herself apart from everyone else, choosing to sit quietly with a glass in hand.

No.

He's familiar with that slackness of her shoulders and the tension along her back as she cradles her head with her unoccupied hand. The lazy way she swirls her drink in her other hand, the loneliness radiating off of her with a gentle thrumming.

That was always how Sasuke saw her, back in those days before she left.

The echo of Ino's question reverberated in his mind. Was she happy?

_Does she fucking look like it?_

But what did he know? Happiness _is, _after all, overrated.

Without even thinking about it, Sasuke walked past the door and headed for her, almost like he's being pulled. He can't remember if he ever… talked to her, before, when she was like this. Or did he, like a complete asshole, just feigned ignorance?

Yes, that sounded more like him.

"You look deep in thought."

By the way she starts, it's obvious she didn't expect him to come at all. She says as much, with a nonchalance he knows she's only faking.

He watches her, her slightly glazed eyes roving his person. What does she see?

Did she notice the equally dazed look in _his _eyes? Or maybe the rumpled result of the clumsy way he put his clothes back on? Does she smell the intoxicating scent of alcohol on him or was the scotch she's holding masking it?

This sudden urge to know what she's thinking of him is deeply unnerving. Especially since he still couldn't make heads or tails about her… What the _fuck _is Haruno Sakura doing back in his life again?

She's not unwelcome. Obviously. Or he wouldn't have invited her to stay at his house.

And he can't say that he's unhappy with their little arrangement, despite the fact that he's been tiptoeing around his own house these past few days. Knowing that she's there — it was fucking annoying and_ thrilling_ and everything in between.

And Sakura…

"Are you happy Sakura?"

He didn't mean to ask it aloud. And what did that even mean?

Was she happy with her new life?

Was she happy (_happier_) that she's back?

Was she happy _now_?

He can see it in his eyes, and in the slight crinkle between her brows. She's weighing the question, wondering exactly what he meant just as he had. But then… nothing. She throws the question away, like she threw him and everyone else aside.

"Why do you care Sasuke?" she asks, her voice barely rising above a whisper.

He chuckles and whispers something in her ear before he leaves.

"I've always cared Sakura."

* * *

He asked Sakura once, why she even bothered coming long after the others had stopped.

"_Why do you care Sakura?_"

Those were the days when he didn't even know what date it was, when he didn't even know if the day had ended or just started. He didn't even have the strength to leave his room or his bed. All of it, it just passed him by like a drowsy blur.

He wondered… how everything could continue going on as it was when his world had figuratively crashed. But then, those were always the thoughts of the victims of tragedies. Weren't they?

So why not experience every cliché, the whole fucking she-bang?

He drank himself stupid. He roamed around his house trying to slam and smash and destroy as many and all things that reminded him of Itachi or Asami. He'd have taken up smoking again if he could've gotten away with it (of course, when Sakura left, there was no one stopping him anymore).

Did it help? Fuck yes. And then… no.

It's not like he was a fucking grief savant. He at least knew better than to bottle it up.

But still, he wanted it _all _to stop.

He wanted the memories and the voices in his head to disappear.

He wanted to just _die._

Cause there were days, dark days, when everything hit him just like it did the first time.

So why did she keep coming back? If he couldn't even keep himself together, there was no way someone else was going to manage it for him.

But her answer was always the same.

"_I've always cared Sasuke."_

* * *

He wakes up before his alarm could ring. He's doubtful that he managed to sleep at all actually. It felt like he'd just closed his eyes, trying to forget the way everything last night just suffocated him, and suddenly he was catapulted right into the next morning. It almost felt unfair. It's probably the most sleep he's gotten in a while and he didn't even feel it.

Barefoot and in pajamas, he goes down to cook breakfast, as was his routine. Maybe Sakura's up. _Kami_, he hopes she wasn't. It's too early in the morning to deal with life. So when he came to the open kitchen door, he sure didn't expect, well, Sakura gyrating to music he couldn't hear while spreading jam on a piece of bread.

He's been so used to living alone all these years that the simple fact that a girl— Sakura for that matter, is making a sandwich on his kitchen counter top is just so… fascinating. Add in the fact that the silly woman is oblivious to his presence, earphones in place, and is dancing to whatever top 40s song she's listening to (_K-Pop is popular these days, right?_), well would anyone fault him for being slightly voyeuristic?

But all good things must come to an end and damn it, Sakura's standing in front of the coffeemaker. Sasuke steps forward and into the kitchen. "Hey."

Much to Sasuke's chagrin, Sakura nearly drops the bread knife and colours a dark shade of pink. But in line with the delicate friendship they've been trying to forge the whole week, she doesn't curse or shout at him in embarrassment. No matter how much she wanted to, so Sasuke noticed.

Instead she says good morning and smiles _that_ smile— a corner of her lips only slightly quirked because she's not sure she should be smiling, and the small dimple on her cheek that that creates, and her eyes! Just _so_ brightand inviting and all that he fucking isn't— and he _knows _he just has to look away.

In that instance, the voices in his head telling him what an _idiot _he actually is and all of Ino's words the night before fell together like puzzle pieces.

This is _neve_r going to work is it? It probably never did.

Because she will always smile that smile and he'll always want it for himself.

Kami, what a miserable bastard he is, because he realizes that he'll never do anything about it.

Maybe a few days ago, he would have. What he'd do exactly he doesn't know. Sweep her from under her boyfriend's nose? Tell her no matter how hard that _damn it he did care for her once, then, now_? Force her to admit that she _is_ still in love with him?

But now, it would never be right. Because they're both a fucking mess and he's probably the one who lit the fuse and counted to three until they exploded.

And looking at her now, humming and smiling to herself… she's happy right? She's at peace, right?

How's that for a morning revelation?

Sasuke lets out the breath he didn't realize he was holding, and it doesn't seem like Sakura noticed his little moment either. In fact, it doesn't seem like she's noticing much of anything at all. It doesn't look like he's going to get to the coffeemaker without getting elbowed or slapped.

As a last ditch effort, he eases himself behind Sakura and puts both hands on her waist _only_ so he could guide her away. He can feel the way she stiffens for a split second before turning in his arms. She smiles at him like she's just noticing him, innocent, enticing, and so fucking close, he could feel her breath fanning his face.

When he finally kisses her, he realizes again that he never had a choice.

* * *

A/N:

Okay. So it's been a really long while. Like, _really _long. I guess I just got caught up with life. What was it they said? Life is what happens when your busy making plans… or something. All I gotta say is that it was thesis work, relationship, destruction of that relationship, and then the subsequent wallowing for a few weeks.

I'm sorry. To the people who really liked this story. And I guess to my craft as well.

This chapter has actually been months in the making, if you can believe it. And if you noticed, it's a parallel chapter of the previous one. Hence the song title, which is just the second half of "Flightless Bird, American Mouth."

I don't think it's as strong as the previous chapters. I'm not sure. It kinda feels like bits and pieces stuck together. But I'm working on it. Don't worry, I'm never abandoning this. After all, this story bloomed in a time where I thought I'd never be able to be creative ever again. So. Yeah.

Oh, and special mention to Meemy-chan who has been sort of hounding me to continue. Yeeeeey Meemy-chan.

Enjoy!


	9. Chasing Pavements

Chapter Nine: Chasing Pavements

* * *

A/N: I went through probably half a dozen song changes for this chapter before settling for this Adele song. I'm not entirely sure if it's perfect, but the tone of the song really is.

Disclaimer: I do not own the song featured here, nor the manga/anime Naruto

* * *

_Tick._

_Tock._

They were standing on a little island of suspended time.

Sakura can feel everything _too_ keenly— the cold of the counter tiles pressing on her back, the sound of theirragged breathing, and that _taste. _That heady, intoxicating taste that is Uchiha Sasuke. She can still feel his careful grip on the back of her head and her waist, keeping them close.

Motionless.

On the other hand, _she_ still has her arm splayed across his back.

And his skin on hers… it _burns._

_Tick._

Even if she wanted to move, she couldn't. And she's starting to think that she didn't want to. If she moved now, time would go on… and staying still is _infinitely_ more preferable than dealing with the aftermath of _this_.

They kissed… They _kissed_!

She can only imagine the picture they presented.

It had taken only a few fucking seconds.

"… Sakura I—"

_Tock._

And just like that, the moment is gone.

It really _is _like waking up after a spell. Along with the seemingly sudden influx of time was the realization of what they had done. Of what _she _had done. And the shame and fear of it all just floors her.

What can she do but run?

She doesn't wait around to hear him out. She doesn't _want _to. Hell if she knows what he was going to say but she seriously doubts she'd be able to handle it right now. After all, this isUchiha Sasuke, and when has anything about him and her ever been anything but a complicated mess?

Slumped behind the closed door of her room, with knuckles harshly shoved in her mouth, Sakura tries to reign in her heart.

How could this have happened?

How could she have done this to Gaara?

That kiss… _Sasuke_… The disappointed look in Gaara's eyes if he ever finds out about this just knocks Sakura down over and over so much that she actually feels _sick_.

But what scares her most is the fact that she can't even deny that some part of her… wanted more.

* * *

Once there was a boy.

And once there was a girl.

Essentially, isn't that how most stories start? Theirs definitely wasn't any different… The Sasuke-and-Sakura story.

She could still remember the exact point in time where the rest of their lives collided, like two marbles smashing against each other, full force. Where and when they melded together was harder to figure out.

It could have happened during one of the many late afternoons they spent talking from opposite sides of their yards' picket fence.

Maybe the answer could be found in the healed scrapes and bruises from their childhood misadventures with Naruto.

Or it could have been during all those parties and camping trips they had in Lake Okugi.

Some people like to say that love blossoms after one great moment— one glorious event where everything just falls into place. A passionate confession in the rain. The accidental touching of hands under the starry sky. Catching his eye from across a sea of people. Fate. Perfect.

But Sakura believed that love happened in successions. It was in the everyday things, intertwining one by one like little tendrils, until what was originally there was strengthened and one day, it would emerge complete.

Into love.

_Or_ something else entirely.

And everything depended on time.

* * *

Sakura hugs her coat tighter to herself.

It's still afternoon but the sun, as if sensing her mood, has decided to hide behind stormy gray clouds._ Figures._

She had to wait until Sasuke was gone before she left her room. She couldn't… she just couldn't face him yet. She would have left the house altogether if she knew for sure that she'd be able to get a flight back to Suna immediately. But for now… _god, _she just has to get out and clear her mind. And walking seems like a good way to do it.

Sitting along the outskirts of town, the house wasn't totally out of the way, but was far enough that a recluse like Sasuke would still feel comfortable. Sakura looks to the house a few meters beside it. It's just as old and weary and made almost entirely of wood. Like most of the houses in Konoha were.

And it used to be _her _home.

There was a time, back when her family first moved to Konoha, when there was at least a yard and a fence separating their rooms... Back when things were so much simpler and her and Sasuke's story wasn't muddled with one-nighters and _revenge_ sex.

She glances one last time at the two houses before she carries on. They stood like two lonely pillars against the background of an enormous expanse of sky.

If she'd never sold her childhood home, would any of it still have happened? She'd have a place to stay, no Sasuke, no temptation, no kiss— oh who is she kidding?

It's not like she didn't have any misgivings when she moved in but should she have seen this coming? Was this her fault?... Yes, maybe. For goodness sake, before _it _happened wasn't she just thinking that things will always be tense between the two of them?

Damn, she should have taken her chances with Shino.

Sakura lets out a frustrated sigh.

It isn't helping. It didn't matter who held most of the blame, it's already happened… Still. She won't lie and say she wouldn't feel a _little_ better if she could dump it all on the bastard.

The exasperating, confusing bastard.

By the time she passes through the town's arch gateway, Sakura's at least decided on one thing. For now, she needs a distraction.

As small a town as Konoha is, there's still a lot that can be done. Restaurants and cafés and souvenir stores have popped up all over the place since she left. Just the other night, the newly renovated cinema house of her teenage years re-opened. It looks like Konoha is only moving up and up. And what the town lacked for in big malls, it definitely made up for hospitality.

At the salty smell of _takoyaki_ (savory bell-shaped pancakes) and_ ikayaki _(grilled squid), her stomach emits an embarrassingly loud growl. She should go somewhere to eat, she supposes. After all, she _did_ miss her breakfast because of this morning's _incident… _

But accidentally bumping into Sasuke anywhere is too great a risk she's not willing to take at the moment.

Not alone anyway.

Wow. Where does all her professed courage go to when it comes to Uchiha Sasuke?

With practiced steps, she makes her way through the cracked, dusty road to the Yamanaka Flower Shop. God, she's been going to Ino's almost as soon as she could walk. _That's _how long they've been friends. It feels like second nature to her that whenever she was uneasy or bothered, she'd be heading to the blonde for advice and companionship.

She loved her boys to bits, but Ino (and to some extent Hinata) was there for her in a way that Sasuke and Naruto just couldn't be.

And so, standing in front of roses and peonies and chrysanthemums and the rest of the explosion of colors that is the Yamanaka storefront, Sakura finds it hard to believe that she survived all those years in Suna without Ino.

* * *

"That was fast. What— did you run here Forehead?"

Bells tinkle as the door shuts close.

"What are you talking about Piggy?"

Ino steps out from behind the counter and motions for her to check her phone. Which Sakura, caught in the whirlpool of emotional bedlam that she was, _of course_ forgot to bring with her. The blonde just waves her hand as if to say it didn't matter.

"Oh. Well it's a good thing you came to see me then…" Ino grabs her hand and the purple umbrella by the door. "You missed me didn't you?"

Walking arm in arm along the streets of Konoha, Sakura realizes that she really does. Miss Ino, even her haughty teasing. And how freezing the afternoons can get there. How the air smells different, fresher, sweeter than in the city. And just how visible the stars can be at night.

Is it weird that she's only missing these things _now, _when they're right in front of her? Sakura looks at all of the old houses and stores and she sees her younger self running past each one of them. This place is starting to feel like home again.

And _that _is a dangerous thought indeed.

Especially since she has a life she needs to get back to in Suna.

_Especially now that she knows six years isn't enough to exorcise Sasuke from her life._

"So… would you mind telling me where you're kidnapping me to Ino?"

"Right. We're going to that café yesterday to meet with Hinata," Ino leads her around a corner, "The wedding is in a _week _you know!"

"What? Why so soon?"

Ino makes a ballooning motion in front of her stomach. "I guess Hinata wanted to actually fit into a wedding dress when she gets married."

"Ah." That's true, Sakura muses. Hinata's already past her first trimester, she's going to start showing in a week or two.

But…

"Ino, I don't have a week."

They stop in front of the café just in time for its overhanging roof and trellis to protect them from the starting rain.

"What do you mean— You can't…" the blonde grips her hand too tightly, "You can't go just yet!"

Sakura withers under the girl's pleading gaze. It just magnifies the ugly, heavy feeling that's been suffocating her all day.

Guilt.

"Ino, I can't stay here indefinitely. I have school. I have work." Even to her ears her valid reasons sound like excuses. "You didn't think I'd stay forever did you?"

"No," the blonde fixes her with a steely glare, "But I expected you to at least stay when your friends needed you."

Sakura's shoulder sockets nearly pop when Ino let's go of her hand so abruptly (practically throwing her hand away) and enters the café without her. Well this takes her back as well. She and Ino always fought back then, a week wasn't complete without one. This shouldn't feel any different. But it does.

What Ino said was a slap to the face— it was angry and hurt and it was out to injure. But it was true.

Instead of rekindling friendships, everything she's done since she came to Konoha was burning bridges. Of old and new relationships alike.

She silently marvels at how she hasn't imploded in this vortex of regret, _despair_, and… just all the ugly emotions that all these realizations brought her. She could feel them crashing against her, all around her, like waves threatening to bring down the cliffside.

But she also feels a sort of detachment. The kind that leaves you confused and staring at the rubble, wondering when exactly it was that you fell.

Because sometimes there's nothing else you _can _do but steel yourself and let the waves crash.

* * *

Hinata couldn't _possibly _be serious.

Could she?

The whole thing was, _is_, crazy. They couldn't possibly think that the whole gang plus Naruto's redhead cousin standing as bridesmaids and groomsmen would be a good idea. Never mind easy. She could understand how Naruto, with his inherent easy manners and his ability to make friends out of even enemies (which is nothing short of god-like), wouldn't even think twice about of this.

But Hinata… sweet, gentle Hinata who would soon be experiencing whiplash inducing mood swings and then the joys (and horrors) of childbirth in less than half a year. To think that she'd have to organize this soap drama of a wedding.

The gang was such a motley of characters, big and small, clashing and compatible, that they were a handful to deal with. And that was on _good_ days. Oh, they had their moments. They cared about each other. They were _family._

But still. Aside from the fact that there wouldn't be anyone left in the audience if they were all standing up front, there are just so many wild cards among them (_no_ she was not looking at Kiba, or Shino, or _Naruto_), it might only take one wrong move to topple the whole house.

So when Hinata, at the middle of this impromptu wedding meeting, asked her to be her maid of honor right after Naruto told Sasuke he'd be his best man, Sakura unsurprisingly blanches.

"I wouldn't count on her still being here for the wedding Hinata," said Ino, scrutinizing her fingernails with a fury in a corner of the room, "In fact, I wouldn't count on her still being here tomorrow.

"I…"

It was the way they all turned to her, almost all at the same instance— eyes pleading, eyes asking— that would do her in. She thinks.

Sakura watched it all in slow motion. The questions, the violent and not so violent reactions poured in. How Naruto's face crumpled and fell. Hinata's sad but understanding smile. Everyone else's whys and whens… the redhead woman's clinical gaze.

And Sasuke, trying not to look at her and quietly slipping away.

Away again.

Away from her.

"I'd love to be your Maid of Honor Hinata."

* * *

The ride home was uncomfortable, to put it in the lightest term. And the rain isn't helping to make things easier for them either. The chill felt like a third entity inside the car, seeping into their bones, making them too lethargic to care.

"I'm tired Sasuke."

"I'm driving as fast as I can Sakura."

"That's now what I meant." She traces the path of the raindrops on the window with her forefinger. "I'm tired of fighting how I feel about you, about all this. That doesn't mean I'm staying or that I'm just going to drop my life in Suna… I'm just tired."

"And I said yes because… I was afraid you'd leave— don't look so startled Sasuke," Sakura adds when she feels the car swerve slightly to the right, "I know you know how much you can still affect me… I'm sorry."

Sasuke stops the car when they can finally see the house up ahead. She won't let herself look at him, but she feels him bursting with the things he wants to tell her in response, and she waits. She waits for the words she didn't let him say earlier.

But he just grips the steering wheel in silence.

As usual.

Sakura closes her eyes and leans her head on the window, trying to concentrate instead on the rhythmic thumping of rain drops on glass.

_Plop._

_Plop._

_Tick._

_Tock._

Visions of the last time she waited for Sasuke play out in her mind. A full moon. An empty train station.

"This isn't what I want." His voice was so unexpectedly soft, she's not entirely sure he said anything at all.

"Then what do you want Sasuke?"

"I don't want you to keep walking around with that hurt look in your eyes Sakura."

Sakura smiles ruefully and nods. She can't see _his_ eyes but she can still hear the indecision that's plagued Sasuke all his life echoed in his every word. That was unexpected. But still… "You didn't answer my question Sasuke."

She smirks when he slams the horn on the steering wheel and then curse under his breath. Sakura knows he doesn't have an answer. And she also recognizes that maybe Sasuke's just as confused as she is.

"You don't have to answer me now." Sakura looks up toward the skies to find that it's already cleared, sunny but grey. "But I will want an answer someday."

And with that, she opens the door and walks the rest of the way home.

* * *

_Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together._

The night Sakura left for Suna, there were no tearful goodbyes or frantic waving through the train compartment window. There was nothing, no one. Except a little girl scared out of her wits but with a resolve to do something better with her life… A girl who knew she _deserved _better.

She didn't tell any of her friends because, well, there was a chance she'd never have gone through with it. Naruto would have screamed and cried while he dragged her back home. Ino and Hinata would be more understanding, but she had always been weak when it came to tears.

No, it was better that way.

The feeling of being alone for the first time in her life empowered her. If she could take that one momentous step by herself— if she could get past what she thought was the biggest hurdle to her new life, then she can do anything.

Doing it on her birthday was just the bittersweet icing on top of the cake.

But she told Sasuke though. Why?

Was she looking for some last minute reprieve, a reason not to go? Or did she want him to come running after her?

Maybe she just wanted to see if he would regret _anything_?

She can still remember looking out the window as she waited for the train to go, willing a tall, dark figure to materialize from out of the shadows.

* * *

A/N:

Good gravy boat! I finally finished this chapter!

I don't have any excuses as to why this took so long. Only that it's life, and as usual, life happens. Like a major event for my organization that took three months to prepare for (insert fml smile) and that I just really didn't want to turn up a crappy work (insert anxious frown).

The hardest thing to do for this chapter was how to portray Sakura's confused thoughts properly. I mean, her mind is a _vortex. _She probably feels like shit. And I wanted to write her as someone who didn't have all the right cards in her hand just yet. Who else has been there? You think I did her justice?

Thank you for the people still reading this. This story has_ actually_ helped me a lot with dealing with my real life problems and realizing things that I needed to learn. I _really _missed writing.

And as always, leave a review!


	10. Much Has Been Said

Chapter Ten: Much Has Been Said

* * *

A/N: This song you probably don't know. It's by a Filipino rock band, Bamboo. Youtube them if you want. I'm recommending it actually.

Disclaimer: I do not own the song featured here, nor the manga/anime Naruto

* * *

_The cold permeating his breath, his bones._

_Her vibrant pinks and greens clashing against the rest of the dreary, grey world._

"_Then what do you want Sasuke?"_

Sasuke stares at the strips of sunlight that escaped into his darkened office. And at the motes of dust he could see all the more clearly because of them.

A competent set of fresh recruits?

A glass of brandy

And an instant cure for hangovers.

Sigh.

It may not have been what she meant but if Sakura had asked him now, right at that moment, those would have been his answers. As for what she _did _mean… well, it's a good thing he's gotten better at compartmentalizing his life because time won't stop ticking just so he can sit with his head between his hands, trying to produce answers to questions he hasn't even thought of asking himself.

He goes through the haphazardly piled folders and files on top of his desk.

How hard is it to file a fucking physical assault complaint? And to remember to print out four copies instead of just _one _and then to _not _give that one copy to the complainant?

Sasuke looks out of his office to where Suigetsu's sitting on his desk and brandishing his gun at the three green horns.

_Idiot._

_I can whip them into shape_, he said. _Just trust me_, he said.

At the moment, he doesn't know who the bigger fool is. Suigetsu, or him for actually believing Suigetsu.

If it wasn't a bigger bother to just fire all three (maybe even Suigetsu), he'd have done it. That's not stopping him from _seriously_ considering it though.

Two of them, the girl in the pig tails and the boy who's always wiping his nose on his sleeve, looks like their actually buying into whatever tough macho bullshit Suigetsu's feeding them. At least the kid with the spiky hair and the headband has the balls to look insulted.

Heh. The dobe would be proud of his protégé.

But right now, they're all _still_ idiots, with their trainer reigning supreme. Someone's probably liable to get his brains blown out if he didn't step in soon.

Sasuke walks out and stops behind Suigetsu. "Keep waving that gun around and see how fast I fire your ass."

He tries to stave off the smirk trying to escape him, but goddamn… the way all their faces blanch and Suigetsu nearly falling off his desk is _so _fucking satisfying.

"Right, boss. That's just what I was saying to these troublemakers."

"Troublemakers?" the girl, Moegi, cries out indignantly. "You're the one waving a gun and ordering us around like we're hired help!"

Ridiculous, the lot of them.

And of course, as it usually does in his life, just when he thought things couldn't be any more absurd, an even bigger display saunters into the station.

This time in the form of a bespectacled, red-haired nurse.

"Can't even handle a couple of children Suigetsu? Pathetic."

If there was ever a time to believe, and wish, and grovel to a divine providence, it would have been now.

Karin turns and sets her eyes on him, smile reaching both ears. "Well hey there Sasuke-kun!"

Great. Just what he needed today of all days.

* * *

In all the times he's known her— since this _thing_ between them started— she's never sought him out so… obviously. The door hasn't even finished slamming shut before he asks her what she's doing there.

"Can you believe them?"

Sasuke raises an eyebrow. He notes her livid eyes and flaring nostrils for the first time. But his head is hurting way too much for him to piece this together. "Believe who?"

"Your bestfriend!" she storms to the other side of his desk and sits on his chair. "Can you believe he and his girlfriend asked me to be a _bridesmaid_?"

Yes, he definitely doesn't have the mental capacity for this right now. "You _don't _want to be a bridesmaid at your cousin's wedding?"

"Of course I don't Sasuke-kun! I know you're going to be the best man so I wanted to be the maid of honor." Karin pouts and extends a hand to him.

And he just stares at it. It could have been just the hangover, but he feels so disconnected to what's happening around him. Is _this _what he wants?

Absentmindedly, he approaches her. She falters a bit when he doesn't take her hand, but snakes it around his tie instead. "Don't you think we would have looked good together?"

Sasuke takes a lock of her hair but doesn't answer. He thinks about how vibrant and strong the color red is. And how _wrong _it looks in his hand. He tries to imagine them falling over his face, sticking to salty skin, or fanned across his pillows. But all he could see is pink.

Hair.

Cheeks.

Lips.

"Hey Sasuke-kun? Who's Haruno Sakura?"

"What?" his eyes refocuses on hers.

Karin looks up at him with a hopefulness misting her eyes and Sasuke realizes that that's a look he's seen before. Except it was held by the warmest amber eyes in the world. "Who is she Sasuke… to you?"

Sasuke recoils and disentangles himself from Karin.

"There's nothing I can do about who becomes Maid of Honor Karin, that's still Hinata's prerogative." He stalks off to open the door. "If you don't mind, I have a splitting headache and a ton of work to do."

He doesn't give a damn how rude he's coming off, but whatever _this _is, needs to stop. Now.

"Alright Sasuke-kun…" Karin stands and smooths her pristinely white uniform. She lingers in the doorway, biting her lower lip like there's still something she's forgetting. "I'll see you later at the engagement dinner right?"

"Aa."

Sasuke doesn't loosen his tie and take his coat until he's sure she's left the building.

Screw the paperwork and the recruits' training. He has to get out.

Where nobody will ask him any more damned questions.

* * *

"_What does Sakura mean to you Sasuke?" _

_Asami drops the blouse she's been folding into her luggage and looks at him with those big, amber eyes._

"_What kind of a question is that?" He leans into the doorjamb, arms crossed._

_She sighs. "That's not the answer I was looking for Sasuke."_

* * *

Sasuke unceremoniously sits on the grassy ground and opens the cold can of beer with a crack and a fizz. If there was ever a place to be alone, it'd be in a cemetery. Nothing there but grey blocks and crushed flower petals for miles around.

He looks at the two tombstones in front of him, separated only by a rusting, black fence. Itachi's and Asami's… And he's not exactly sure who he should be "talking" to. What would his brother say? Would _she _understand? If his head didn't feel like it's being torn apart, he'd have laughed at how he's been reduced to a drunk hanging around with corpses.

All because some girl waltzed back into his life.

"Who is Sakura to me…" he mutters. It isn't a question, just a repeat of one he's heard a million years ago.

"_What does Sakura mean to you Sasuke?" _

It's been years but he's still as baffled now as when Asami first asked it. Part of him knows that it was probably jealousy. Isn't it always? A girl bestfriend for a guy— one that you practically grew up with, is not a small issue in a relationship. Or so Nara told him.

But he _knows_ Sakura and Asami were friends— they were close, and she was practically a part of the gang. Hell, the two went on shopping dates together, had sleepovers, and told each other secrets. So it completely fucking blindsided him.

Had there always been something bubbling under the surface?

He takes a swig at the beer. Not that he believed in any kind of afterlife… but he wonders what Asami would feel, knowing that he and Sakura started dating after _everything. _If what he and Sakura had could be termed dating at all. If he was being honest with himself (and really, could he still afford lies at this stage?), he was just a needy, bottomless pit that Sakura fell into.

And if he was being honest then, what would he have told Asami?

_Sakura is just a friend._

What would he have told Karin?

_Sakura is just… _

Sasuke empties the can before he fishes his phone from his pocket and does something he can only term as a Hail Mary.

"_Dobe. Meet me at Ichiraku."_

As he takes the worn out path to leave the cemetery, he realizes that _that…_ had been his last conversation with Asami before she left for college. And because Itachi was the one who drove her there, that had been the last time they ever talked face to face.

* * *

"Well aren't you a sight for sore eyes."

Sasuke, chin poised in the palm of his hand, gives the overzealous blonde a bored look.

"That's cause I'm hungover. You_…" _he gestures to Naruto in general, _"_Look like that every day."

"Like god's gift to womankind? Why yes, yes I do."

Not for the first time in his life, Sasuke is grateful for the way the dobe can lighten any situation with his antics. At least, temporarily. And he'd hazard a guess that he'll need that talent for the upcoming week.

It's barely started and shit has already hit the fan.

"So." The blonde slides up to the stool next to his. "How are you holding up?"

"Me? You're the one who's marrying his knocked-up girlfriend in a few days." If that's not completely suicide-inducing, he doesn't know what is. Then again, it is Naruto, there's probably nothing he wants more.

"And you're the guy whose ex-girlfriend just rolled back into town after six years— with a boyfriend in tow."

Touché.

"Thanks for close captioning my pain there asshole."

Naruto chuckles and orders the two of them some miso ramen. "Anything for you, you bastard."

This has been the closest thing to normal that he's experienced since Sakura came back to Konoha. Him and Naruto, sake and ramen. Enough curses to turn Ichiraku into a PG-13 bar. Is it normal that he wants? Except _this _normal probably isn't going to last long. Naruto's not going to be hanging out with him every night if there's a baby to take care of at home.

"Before she left… Asami asked me what Sakura meant to me."

Naruto doesn't falter of flinch; he just keeps on shoveling noodles into his mouth. Like this isn't new to him. God, did he miss a memo or something? Was everybody thinking it?

"What did you say?"

"I didn't answer her." Sasuke sighs. "I asked her why she would even ask that."

Sasuke punches Naruto in the gut when he chuckles like that's actually an appropriate response. The little shit could have commiserated with him or, more preferably, just kept quiet. "God, I'm such a fuck up aren't I?"

Silence.

Sips of sake.

"How would you have answered that?"

"Sakura is just a friend."

"And how did you really feel?"

"Dobe I had a girlfriend—" Whatever he wants to say after is lost when Naruto tells him to shut up. A little more vehemently than usual.

Sasuke raises an eyebrow and steels himself. "Excuse me?"

"Look I get it." The blonde fixes him with a steady gaze. "Asami is gone. And you'd probably feel like a piece of crap if you admitted now that you felt something for Sakura even back then. But Sasuke, after everything's that happened between you two, isn't it unfair for her that you keep denying it?"

Sasuke swills the sake in his cup. He hates it when Naruto goes into his sagemode. He gets so fucking self-righteous. But is he right?

"If that's true…" he slumps back down into the table because damn it, when will it all end already? "Then what happened to Asami and Itachi—"

"Wasn't your fault." Sasuke is surprised at the firmness in Naruto's voice. It _almost _makes him believe.

He loved Haruno Sakura.

That annoying, lanky girl who'd talk to him from behind the picket fence about his parents, her mom, his brother, their day. That girl with mountains of worries about the future hidden behind her effervescent smile.

That woman who gave and gave too fucking much of herself to people who definitely didn't deserve it.

He _loves _Haruno Sakura.

Itachi said letting itout was half the battle, but funny, he still doesn't feel like he's winning. What had he been working on for the past six years? He thought he was moving on, getting on with his life.

Apparently not.

It strikes Sasuke how weird it is to talk about the vagaries of life in a crowded restaurant, smelling of salty broth, and beer, and sizzling meat. Like the all-around gaiety around him served as a foil to his problems. _Ha-ha, look how much better our life is compared to yours!_

Well. He sure as hell won't be crying about it.

"What the heck do I do now? How do I fix things?"

"For starters, do _you_ know what you want in life?" Naruto asks with a mouthful of ramen, "I mean, how can you fix things if you don't know how it's supposed to look like first?"

Sasuke smirks mirthlessly and shakes his head; Sakura's question— he's surprised he didn't see it coming. Of course it would all go back to that.

Of course it would all go back to _her._

* * *

They were fifteen and they were leaning against the fence.

Even though the sun was setting, the earth remained warm. But the grass was damp because someone, probably Itachi, had just watered the plants.

It always spilled over the other side.

"_Do you think you'll ever leave Konoha? Like Itachi is planning to?" _Sakura asked.

He thought about it, how there was so much more outside of Konoha. More things to see, more things to experience. And it actually excited him just thinking about all the possibilities in that world.

He also thought how that world would be missing a pink haired brat and a specific dumb blonde.

"_No. Not really."_

* * *

Sasuke throws the empty magazine at the hole-riddled target with as much force as he could.

He tries to load his gun again but his hands are shaking far too much. Maybe he's drunker than he thought. But that's okay. At least there's nobody in the station tonight to see their indomitable chief breaking down over something so trivial.

Because it's official.

He's the universe's goddamn punching bag. It'll throw him a bone just to beat him over the head with it, sadistic shit.

Sasuke sighs and laughs, its echoes reverberating against the walls. Why does that even surprise him?

Naruto and Sakura.

Itachi and Asami.

Just when he thought…

When he finally figured out what he wanted, he was filled with this nervous energy to just… go. To start. That feeling of teetering over the edge of a precipice and_ still_ wanting to jump. It buoyed him. That's what made lugging a nearly tipsy Naruto to the engagement dinner (which surprisingly wasn't just held in Ichiraku) seem like a cakewalk.

Every fucking step.

He thought about Sakura and what he wanted to tell her and how her face would just light up at his words. And he swallowed down everything that screamed it was wrong because isn't that what _she _wanted? For him to know what it is he wants.

That's why, stepping into the almost obscenely lit restaurant, he felt like kicking himself in the mouth.

Because there she was.

All dolled up. All smiles. With her hands entwined in her boyfriend's arm.

Did he actually think things would go his way for once?

That's a fucking riot act.

So when he saw red in his peripheral vision as he walked towards Sakura (like a pathetic moth drawn to the flame), he felt he just had to drag Karin with him, arm wrapped around her waist and all.

He couldn't stop himself if he wanted to. And he didn't want to.

"Isn't this a surprise Sakura." He stuck on a smirk even he found sickening.

God, just when he thought he knew what he wanted.

* * *

A/N: Well, this has been a long time coming. Too long in fact. I lay myself prostate in hopes of receiving your full pardon. All I can say is that I just didn't want Sasuke to sound like such a bitch and I'm not even sure I got _that _right. Don't worry, I'll be sulking under a rock until I manage to churn out another of these chapters.


	11. Safe

Chapter Eleven: Safe

* * *

A/N: The song is by Britt Nicole. I'm not too sure it fits well with the tone of the chapter, in some parts sure. But the message certainly does.

Disclaimer: I do not own the song featured here, nor the manga/anime Naruto

* * *

Honestly, _what _on earth did she think would happen?

What was she hoping for— that he'd come to her on bended knees, asking for forgiveness and begging to be taken back? Sakura would scoff but that fantasy didn't even merit it.

Uchiha Sasuke, beg? Heaven forbid.

For the hundredth time that night, she turns in her bed, dragging one of the pillows across her face. She can still see that disgusting smirk he gave her as if it was branded in her mind.

"_Isn't this a surprise Sakura."_

It wasn't even a question. There had been a bitter edge in his voice, an accusation that hung like a sword above her head. But of what? What would _he _have to be angry about? And of course he didn't even give her leave to ask what he meant.

No. He just dragged the way-too-happy Karin along with him.

Sakura told herself then that she didn't flinch every time he came near her because he just obviously, pointedly, ignored her. She wasn't bothered by the way he gripped the redhead's hips all night.

And her chest is most definitely not tightening because Sasuke hasn't come home yet.

She doesn't have the right to. Not anymore.

She wonders if she ever did.

* * *

"So… hydrangeas or peonies?"

Ino holds a bouquet of both flowers to Hinata's face for her inspection. A little too close, based on the shy girl's alarmed look. "Don't shove them in her face Ino-pig."

"What? I just want her to smell them. And _really _see their beauty." Ino leaves the pink and white peonies in the counter so she can hug the hydrangeas to herself. "Me, I've always been partial to blues and violets."

Sakura rolls her eyes and tells Hinata that in the language of flowers, the hydrangeas represents "vanity".

"Hey, I'm the horticulturist here forehead."

"But you're not the one getting married so why don't you just leave the decision to Hinata, okay?"

Despite their seemingly argumentative tone, both she and Ino are sporting grins. Things have thawed between them since they last talked, before the impromptu wedding announcement. And thankfully, no words were needed to be said and left awkwardly hanging in the air.

The best thing about Ino is that she always knows what she wants to say without her actually voicing it.

From behind, Sakura can hear Tenten chuckle at their antics. "You two will never change. You're as bad as Naruto and Sasuke."

Sakura falters at the mention of _his _name. But she couldn't dispute that. Which is a good thing that they had Tenten with them; while she and Ino are arguing about the particulars, she's ticking away at her clipboard and handling all the major details. She may have been the maid of honor, but thank god they had an actual wedding coordinator with them.

Who knew there were so many things to plan for in a wedding. They had to pick out dresses, the cake, and make the invitations. Then there's the issue of the officiant, the band, and the photographer. At least they already have a florist and a caterer.

And to think, she can't help but muse, back when they were kids all they thought was necessary was a wedding dress and a ring. Never mind the husband, they already had that figured out. Or so little Sakura thought at the time…

But anyway.

Sakura glances again at the stacks of envelopes, color swatches, and ribbons strewn all over their de facto base, the Yamanaka Flower Shop. Granted, it's not going to be a big wedding, and there won't be too many people attending (since the Hyuuga clan would probably be RSVP-ing 'no'), but all this in a week?

Wedded bliss sounds great, but she's _glad _that she's not the one who's getting married because even with years of experience in medical school, she wouldn't be able to handle something like this.

The front door opens and the strong scent of Crystal Noir Versace fills the room.

"Hey girls, miss me?"

Speaking of things she couldn't handle right now.

The redhead nurse walks into the shop, folders and paper bags in hand. It must've been her day-off because she isn't in her usual skimpy, white nurse outfit (okay, she only saw her in it twice). Instead she's wearing an equally skimpy two-piece dress that looks recently bought.

Sakura's lips thin into a line. God she didn't have to look so flawless and put together. She's practically glowing!

"Karin-san! Thanks for coming," Hinata rushes forward to greet her, nearly tripping over a ream of specialty paper, "I hope you don't mind we started without you?"

"No need to be so formal! We're going to be cousins soon."

Hinata announces Karin's presence but Sakura knows it's just for her benefit.

She leans her elbows into the counter as she watches her greet everyone, friendly and off-handedly. Like she belonged. For most of the six years she's been flaking out on everybody, this woman has probably been filling her spot.

Did she go on coffee dates with Hinata and the girls as well? Or maybe she went on the monthly group dinners with the gang at Ichiraku? And with Sasuke…

"Hey, you okay?" Ino whispers behind her.

Lost in thought, Sakura can only shrug. How is she supposed to feel, looking at her own replacement?

When said replacement walks up to her, she starts and barely has time to school her face into a welcoming one.

"Hi, we haven't exactly been introduced." Karin lifts a bejeweled hand to her, "I'm Uzumaki Karin, Naruto's cousin, obviously."

"Oh. Yeah, I got that." She gives the redhead the biggest smile she could muster and shakes her hand. She may be confused but that isn't an excuse not to put her best foot forward. She may like the woman still. "I'm Haruno Sakura. I'm…"

"The prodigal daughter."

Her smile freezes into place as the hand that grips hers tighten, the rings digging uncomfortably into her fingers.

"I've been hearing about you from the others my whole stay here in Konoha, you know? Except from Sasuke-kun that is."

Ah. Is that how it's going to be?

"Must be because there's too much to tell."

For a moment, Sakura sizes Karin up, and she's sure the redhead's doing the same. Everything about her is overpowering— the dress, the perfume, the smile. All of it designed to intimidate. A moment, a second; and that's all it takes for Sakura to know beyond a shadow of a doubt.

This week couldn't be over soon enough.

* * *

Surprisingly, Sasuke doesn't introduce Asami as his girlfriend to just Naruto and her at first, like she thought he would. Instead, he brings her to one of their end-of-the-month parties at the lake and presents her to the gang.

All around the campfire— handshakes, hugs, and cheers.

It was a long time coming. She'd been expecting it for a while. So why, when she'd had months to steel herself, did it still sting?

What hammered the nail on the coffin though were the brief, worried glances directed at her.? Oh, they were surreptitious doing it. But she knew.

So she plastered on the biggest smile she had and gave the loudest cheer. Because she still needed her pride. It was all she had left.

"_Hey. You all know Asami right?"_

* * *

"_I miss you."_

Sakura sighs and locks her phone, leaving the text from Gaara unanswered.

Not now, she thinks. Though the answers to why and when are currently eluding her. It was a simple enough statement. And simple enough to answer.

But simple isn't always easy, is it?

Breathing deeply, Sakura starts picking up the mess all around them. The others had long left, since Karin basically halved their work load by announcing that she's already found a photographer (who can also do the invitations) and a band.

She's good at finding people. Apparently.

"Don't let her get to you."

"What?" Sakura looks over at Ino who's busily scribbling the order for Hinata's floral arrangements. In the end, she chose lilies— dark and purple callas and pure, white lilies. It's going to be the picture of sophistication, Naruto's going to have to step up his game.

"If you're thinking about Karin, don't." Ino looks up from the order sheet, "She's not worth it."

Memories of a small Ino, eyes cold and cutting, defending her from bullies come to her mind unbidden. She shakes her head; Ino will never give up being her hero will she?

But she _is _right. Karin had more than one arrow in her quiver to shoot, but after the first verbal spar, Sakura didn't have it in her to fight back.

Somehow, in the space of that one-hour meeting, she had managed to not so subtly allude to her sex life with Sasuke (she tried not to gag), berate her for irresponsibly leaving her friends behind (like they were bags she just managed to leave behind in a train station), and belittle her dream to be a doctor (_"It's the nurses who do all the work you know"_).

The message was clear, of course.

_Stay away from Sasuke-kun._

_You're not good enough for him._

_I am._

Well, message received, no need to drive the point in deeper. But one would think, after last night, she should be bloody pleased with herself.

"I know it's petty, but how do you all stand her?" she asks with a laugh, a little too exasperatedly for her taste.

"We don't. Actually, we just make Naruto deal with her like, most of the time. And even he doesn't like her."

"Ino-pig!" Sakura only rolls her eyes at that. Karin could be working for the worst megalomaniac in the world and Naruto would still be able to find something redeemable in her.

After all the cleaning, she and Ino maneuver themselves to the window-side table, a cup of jasmine tea in both of their hands. She missed quiet times like these. Suna was such a big city with everyone always on the move, moments like this were few and far in between.

Though Konoha never lacked for excitement, did it?

"Speaking of petty…" Ino leans over the table towards her, eyebrow arched, "How's Sasuke?"

Sakura looks out the window to watch the people walking by. "I don't know what you mean."

"We're not blind. That thing with Karin last night. After all the years we've been together— especially those high school years, _god_; we know a show when we see one."

Even if she can't see herself, Sakura bets that she's blushing from her neck to the roots of her hair. Goddamn Sasuke and all this drama. From across the table, Ino gives her a smug smirk. Something's happened between them, the blonde insists.

It's scary how intuitive Ino is sometimes.

Should she tell her about what happened in Sasuke's kitchen though? That kiss?... _No. _Sakura grips her cup, holding that piece of ceramic like it's the secret she's so desperate not to let the world know.

Some things are just too unpredictable, too dangerous, too entrust to anyone.

"I told him I was tired of… us. So I asked him what it was that he wanted."

"Oh. Isn't that a little vague?"

She shrugs and concedes that it was. "But he knows what I meant."

There. That wasn't exactly a lie. Just a half-truth. She asked Sasuke what he wanted and she got her answer…

"So that's what the show was for." Ino smirks into her cup. "Sasuke always was a drama queen."

For the first time since she got to Konoha, Sakura finds herself genuinely smiling about something related to Sasuke. Because he is, always have been, though he'd rather die than admit it. But all the cold shoulders and temper tantrums throughout their so-called friendship would beg to differ.

"You know why he did that right?"

"Because he's saying what he wants is her?" It's supposed to be a statement but because it's Ino who asked, annoyingly and surprisingly wiser than most anyone Ino, Sakura starts to wonder if there's something she missed.

"I refuse to believe you're that naïve forehead."

She gives Ino a quelling look. Naïve? "Ino, what else could it mean?"

"Well how did you think he would react, seeing you together with Gaara— your _boyfriend_? And what would have happened if he came to you and said that he chose _you, _that he wanted _you_? Would you have broken up with Gaara then?"

"How dare you!" Sakura slams the cup into the table. "And besides, that would never happen. Sasuke didn't choose me back then, he would never do so now!... That's why I left."

Ino sighs but she doesn't relent. "I know. And I can't believe I'm saying this after all the shit he put you through, but you also know that asking him that while you're still attached to someone else was unfair."

"But that's not what I meant at all when I asked him. I never wondered if I'd factor into the equation..." Sakura groans and leans her head back on the chair. "Why does that matter? He doesn't _care_."

It's true. That's what she believes anyway.

A familiar ache reminds her that no, she's not going down that road again, believing that Uchiha Sasuke cared about her _that_ way. That's what the past six years has been for. One kiss, one stupid fluke wasn't going to make her come crawling back.

And she's not saying that because she's mad, or bitter. It's just what it is; she'd be a fool to hope for anything more.

Sakura doesn't know if her thoughts are just so obviously written on her face or Ino can read her like an open book, but the blonde reaches from across the table and grips her hand, drawing her away from her abyss.

"I know he's fucked up a lot… but at least give him the chance to try Sakura."

She doesn't even know what the hell that's supposed to mean.

* * *

They meet in front of the old high school building, like he asked.

He's stooped at the front steps, with rolls and rolls of dusty blueprints under his arms. If she didn't know him, she'd have thought that the bored scowl he has in place meant he's angry. She'd call it resting bitch face but Gaara always got amusingly annoyed at the term.

"Well hey there stranger.

Sakura almost can't breathe when his eyes soften at the sight of her. That's something that she searched a long time for, something she thought she'd _never_ have. Why would she let that go?

He pats the space on the concrete beside him and for a while they just sit in their own little silence.

Back in Suna, things with Gaara hadn't been easy, but it was simple. He was a steady, comforting presence in her life and it felt right. Someone to talk to and vent to, someone to celebrate with and commiserate with.

But now, with her past rearing its head along the edges, they weren't even any of those things.

She can't decide if the poison is Konoha, or Sasuke… or maybe it's her. A slow-burning poison that eats people up and destroys them from the inside.

"I'm going back to Suna."

"What? Why?"

"Relax." He tells her. "I'm done with my research here and I need to get back to the firm so we can start on drafting the architectural and mechanical drawings."

"Good. I thought— never mind." Sakura shakes her head. What was she going to tell him? I thought you were leaving because you were breaking up with me? Because I've been staying at my ex-boyfriend's house?

Great. Another secret.

Little by little, the wall was coming back up again.

"Sakura, I'm not… insensitive. I know that's something's up here— I'm pretty sure I know what it's about." Gaara takes her hand in his and kisses it. "I'll let you banish your demons. Then come back to me. If you still want to."

* * *

It was already getting dark when she got back to the house… Sasuke's house.

There were no lights open and if it wasn't for the clinking of plates and glass and the sound of rushing water, she would have thought no one was home.

As quietly as she could, she creeps along the hallway and peers into kitchen. She has no idea what to say or what she _should _say. But she just feels the need to see him. She just _wants _to see him.

And there he is, his back to her.

Much like _that _morning, Sasuke's clad in just a pair of jeans. Why he's washing dishes in the dark, she doesn't know. Especially since she remembers he never liked that chore before— always used to pawn it off to her. Living alone, she guesses he doesn't really have any choice.

Sakura leans on the door jamb and just watches Sasuke— the muscles along his back and his arms as he goes about what he's doing, the way the soft light of the disappearing sun pouring in from the window made a sort of glowing line around him.

It wasn't only bad memories they created here, right?

They may have been few, but there _were_ times when they were actually happy.

"Stop staring at me Sakura."

"How did you know I was here?" Thank goodness it's too dim for him to notice her blush.

Sasuke half-turns and looks her over with an intensity that had her stomach tensing. "I _always _know when your near Sakura."

And just like that, he has her mouth drying up. Such a Sasuke thing to say. Bastard.

"Are you going to sleep here tonight?"

He turns the faucet off and wipes his hands on his pants. "I live here Sakura. Where else am I supposed to sleep?"

"I just— I'm not sure when you got home so I assumed that you… spent the night somewhere else?"

She can barely see his eyebrow rise and she's starting to regret even asking. But like a kid poking at a scab, she feels like she just had to put it out there. To know. And sue her, but she had a shit day courtesy of a redhead nurse.

"To answer the question you didn't ask," he starts, and moves closer to her, "No, I didn't sleep with Karin. I was at the office."

"Oh." She expels the breath she didn't realize she was holding. "Look, I need to talk to you… about the thing I did ask you a day ago."

She can distinctly feel the loss of warmth when Sasuke bristles and walks away to the table. And she has zero ideas about what he's mad about now. Or maybe, like Ino thinks, she does know and she's just denying it. "Go on, talk."

"I'm sorry." She rushes in. "I'm sorry that I asked _that_ of you even though I had a… I just wanted to clear that what I meant to ask about was what you wanted in life."

"You mean like what are my plans, right?"

"Yes, that's what I—"

"Bullshit!" Sasuke slams his fist into the wooden table and her heart jumps into her throat. "That not what you meant and you know it. I know it. You know that I know it."

Because she can't find her voice yet, she settles for a glare that holds all of her fury and all her frustration at him because who the hell is he to her for him to presume to know what she thinks. After everything. She knows it doesn't make sense but she throws it all at him anyway, and he's giving it back in full measure.

"You know what I think? You got an answer that you didn't like and now you're trying to take it back so you don't have to deal with it." Sasuke advances towards her again, radiating power and danger, and she finds herself stepping back into the hallway wall. "Well where the fuck do you get off?"

But she's not afraid. He wouldn't raise his hands to her, she knows. But that doesn't stop her from placing her hands on his shoulders, feeling all the tension under her palms, trying to put space between them. He's_ so _damn close, she could feel all of him.

They're breathing the same air.

No, she's not afraid of him.

She's afraid he won't leave.

Sasuke grazes the side of her face with his knuckles with a tenderness that she doesn't expect. All the anger in his eyes has melted and replaced by something she can't recognize. "Stop running away Sakura."

"I'm going to ask you the question you really wanted to ask me then." Sasuke sighs and backs away. "What do you want… from me?"

Sakura stands in the hallway long after Sasuke had gone, and his words repeats itself in her mind long after she finally realized that he had.

Why did he have to be right?

* * *

A/N: Well how's that for updating faster? You didn't expect it did you? Probably thought you'd have to wait another few months didn't you? Glad to prove you wrong then, and hopefully I'll continue doing so. I'm getting back to my schedule and it's actually giving me back my rhythm. Yeah!

Anyway. About this chapter. Believe it or not, it could have ended more explosively. Believe you me. _But _I'm choosing to let it build momentum. There are still some things that need to be said and done. And realized.

Also, I'd love to hear what you guys think about Sasuke's relationship with Asami and Sakura. What do you guys think happened? I just wanna make sure I was clear.

Lastly, a reviewer mentioned 'Thank Your Stars All You Want'. I didn't know anyone was expecting anything about that, I believe I started it before FOS. I think I might semi-focus on that along with 'Nyx', after I finish this fic.


	12. Long Gone

Chapter Twelve: Long Gone

A/N: The title is from the first half of Long Gone and Move On. The Script is basically my break-up/move-on soundtrack.

Disclaimer: I do not own the song featured here, nor the manga/anime Naruto

* * *

They were both turning into horrible people.

Sakura, for wanting more but never saying anything.

And him, for being such a selfish asshole, taking more than he was willing to give.

He's still fucking pissed and he's still out of his mind with all the shit that has happened. At Sakura. At himself. But that was the first thing he realized, sharp pieces of clarity as he watched her, cornered and with her eyes closed. Her lips were so close he could hear her breathing softly; and so near he could have closed the distance by just looking down.

And even after everything, he still really wanted to.

What happened? Why were they so determined to wound each other? Contrary to popular belief, there was a time when he was happy— before the accident, so he knows that it wasn't always like this between them.

They were friends. They were _family _for crying out loud. Whenever he and Naruto fought or some other thing happened back home, she was always the one he went to first and that wasn't because she was the next door neighbor. Things weren't always so complicated by all their sins against each other, perceived or otherwise.

The second thing he realized was that nothing was ever going to change unless one of them would give way.

This shit where they carelessly hurt each other and hurt the other back… god, weren't they all so fucking tired? Sakura has already said as much. He was a complete ass to her when they were dating so she left. She brought someone back with her so he retaliated… with Karin.

If they kept on going, if they kept compounding offenses one on top of the other, then sooner or later the whole shit would come tumbling down and then where would it all end? And he's not an idiot, he knows that even if they stacked all of their chips side by side, he would be the one who comes up short.

He's destroyed so much.

So for now, _he's _going to let go.

But that doesn't mean he's giving up.

He's just going to take what he could get for now, and hope they wouldn't destroy what was left before they could find their way out.

Even if they couldn't fix things, couldn't put them back the way they used to be— the way they're supposed to be and whatever that means… he hopes for that much.

* * *

"So, are you dating my cousin?"

Sasuke sits down on the grassy, cemetery ground and moves his hand to the gun in his holster.

"Should I start calling _you _cousin soon? You know, you should think about taking her last name." the blonde beams. "Uzumaki is a great name!"

Checking the barrel, he sees that he only has two bullets in. One for the dobe, and then one for himself. Or one for the first sorry sap who hears the gunshot. Does anybody else feel like killing themselves whenever they talk to Naruto?

He wouldn't be surprised if the answer to that was a resounding yes. Except maybe for Hinata, if she can contemplate a lifetime with the blonde. The sex must be good to—

Nope. No. Fuck no. Sasuke whips his gun and points it up, seriously considering shooting Naruto for making him think about _that_! Images of a naked (_censored_) Naruto writhing and thrusting in bed danced around his head… God, he's going to be sick.

"Alright, alright! I was kidding!" Naruto shouts with his hands held up in front of him, not really realizing what's bothering him.

"What are you talking about?"

"I mean if you don't want to talk about it, then we don't have to!" Naruto sighs and plops down beside him. "God, you don't have to be such a neurotic asshole all the time."

Oh, if he only knew.

They sit in front of Asami and Itachi's graves because the dobe had remembered he hadn't told them about his wedding yet. Is there a point to it, Sasuke wonders? Talking to them? Dead men tell no tales, and they definitely don't have the ear to hear them either. Cemeteries have always been for the sentimental living.

Like him, he admits to his chagrin.

"Your brother has always been a gossip you know?" Naruto says out of the blue.

"What, Itachi?" he asks incredulously.

"Do you have any other brothers we don't know about?"

"Actually, yes." he fires back at the dobe. "He's this idiot, stupidest man I know. Got his girlfriend knocked up 'cause he didn't know how to use a fucking condom."

"Ha-ha. Got any other jokes, 'cause it's getting stale." Naruto says sarcastically as he fake punches him on the shoulder. "But thanks… for saying that."

For a while, they listen to the things that mar the silence. The birds, the crisp rustling of the leaves, the rumbling motor of a distant lawn mower. Whenever Sasuke comes here, it feels like time stops. It's so… detached from the rest of the world, a void. And while he can never escape the fucking demons that've taken permanent residence on his head, he can at least pretend they don't matter for a short time.

It looks like the only place for the living to get some peace is with the dead.

"What do you mean Itachi was a gossip?" Even saying it out loud didn't make it any less ridiculous. If his brother was a gossip then Nara is the liveliest man he knows, and Hyuuga is a human embodiment of a rainbow.

"Oh that." Naruto chuckles and starts tearing grass off the ground, like a kid who can't sit still does. "He's always weirdly in-the-know on who's dating who and who likes whom. Hinata-chan told me that's because he'd always chat with the girls, you know? Whenever they came over to your place."

"You're kidding."

When did that happen? Itachi drinking tea, gabbing away with Sakura and Yamanaka and the Hyuuga girl?

"Oh, I guess you didn't know. Hinata-chan thinks it was Itachi's way of keeping tabs on you; what you did, who you did them with."

"He could've just asked me." He says quietly, a bit indignant.

But even as he said it, Sasuke knows it isn't true. It's been a running joke in the gang that Uchihas have golden voice boxes, that's why they never use them. In part, it was true. The men in their family have always been reserved. But really, he and Itachi just never… communicated well.

They loved each other, sure— for fuck's sake, Itachi was all he ever wanted to be when he was a kid! He was a genius who finished college early, everybody respected him, and most of all, Itachi took care of him all by himself and kept him from careening off the edge when their parents died.

He _hero-worshipped _Itachi.

But there was always a barrier between them and he still doesn't know how the fuck it got built, but it was there.

"_Maybe next time Sasuke._"

"_I'll make it up to you Sasuke._"

He touches his forehead and stares at his brother's grave. Itachi couldn't even ask him what was going on in his life.

Itachi once said that he was a wall that he had to overcome. Sasuke always thought that it was because he was a fucking genius, or because no matter what he did, he'd always be compared to his older brother.

For all of his supposed intellect, didn't Itachi ever think he'd love him anyway?

Well, that's what he used to think Itachi meant anyway.

He and Naruto walk side by side as they leave, after the dobe finished telling two concrete headstones how much he wished they could attend his wedding. How much he would have loved to have them be a part of it since he knew they wanted to be there when it happened.

Somehow, Sasuke doubted that.

Before they pass through the iron gates of the cemetery, Naruto stops behind him. With eyebrow raised and hands deep in his coat pockets, Sasuke looks back at the blonde. There's something in the way Naruto stares at him, blue eyes focused and his mouth set in a grim line. He's serious, and with Naruto that's never a good thing.

At least, not for him.

He sighs and turns around. "Go on, let it out." Sasuke says, waving a hand in dismissal. It's not like Naruto will let anything stop him from having his say.

"Don't you think it's time you stop with the blame? It's been years Sasuke."

All around them, a strong gust of wind blows past and sends hundreds of tiny, fluttering leaves to the ground. It's been a while since Naruto asked him that. Must be the wedding and all the talk of _family _and a new life that has him all sappy_._

Whatever.

He keeps on walking, knowing that the blonde will follow anyway.

"He's dead Naruto. I don't have any other choice." And it's true. How petty is it to give culpability to the dead? "Besides, I don't blame Itachi for the accident. Did you think I'd be here if I did?"

"I _know_ you don't." Naruto sighs and trudges on ahead of him, gravel crunching under his boots.

"That's because you still blame _yourself._"

* * *

He didn't remember anything about the funeral.

Nothing specific anyway. There was a lot of black. A lot of handshaking and condolences being given. Tedious. _Useless. _All of them.

Maybe it rained. And maybe the service took too long. Someone spoke about his saint of a brother, taken too young from this world, probably.

He couldn't even remember what the fucking priest said (he is _so _going to hell).

As much as he tried— and he really didn't— he just couldn't. Give. A. Damn. As soon as the last of the earth was packed on top of Itachi's casket, he was gone.

One thing he does know though, is that he didn't attend Asami's funeral. It was too soon and he still hadn't made heads or tails about what really happened, much less how he should _feel _about it.

And no one broached the subject, no one told him any fucking thing, and no one asked any of the questions they should have had. Not even Sakura.

He only found out she was even there when he visited for the first time, half a year later, and he saw the slab of stone with her name on it next to Itachi's.

* * *

You only live once!

At least that's what Inuzuka shouted before he downed four shots of tequila and cannon balled into the lake. For the sake of his sanity, Sasuke hopes he's right. Not that he wants the wolf-man dead, he just wants him— everyone to keep this "yolo-ing" (who comes up with this shit?) to just this _one _night.

All around him, people were going crazy, dancing around the campfire like savages to some generic EDM (electronic dance music, again who comes up with this shit?). Yamanaka and Akimichi are already busy plying everybody with whatever hodgepodge concoctions Naruto managed to get from his godfather.

Shit. He looks for a certain bushy browed freak in the crowd. Nobody better give Lee a single drop of beer or whatever alcoholic shit. He's not cleaning up _that _mess… Oh please, who's he kidding, by the end of the night, Lee's gonna be a red-faced and trying to pick a fight with anything that moves.

"This is ridiculous!" he shouts over the noise so Naruto can hear him. "I've seen more of you idiots in the past week than I did last month!"

And it's true. He's a pretty crap friend.

"Oh shut up teme, you love it!" And as if to prove his point, or _make _his point, the blonde shoves a suspicious looking green drink in a shot glass down his nose. "It's been a while since the whole gang's been together."

A while? That's a pretty fucking understated way of saying six years.

But he's right. Sasuke shrugs and smirks. Maybe it's because his life has recently turned into a veritable shit storm, but the dobe is right. He at least prefers _this _version of chaos. He takes the shot glass from Naruto's hand and raises it in mock salute.

To the new normal.

The drink— some bizarre mix of vodka and tequila maybe, blazes down his throat to his stomach like fire. God how could he forget? The number one rule of partying with Naruto is to _never _drink anything he hands to you.

He's still coughing when the blonde claps him on the back and calls him weak. Yeah, yeah, he's the guy who never gets drunk. Fast metabolism or some shit. Lucky bastard.

"Get that stick out of your ass and hang out with everyone bastard!" And with that, Naruto shambles towards his pregnant girlfriend, narrowly missing out on a black eye.

Sasuke sighs and goes back to sitting on the rock by the edge of the lake.

By everyone, Naruto really meant _everyone. _At least, everyone he considers "family". That's pretty much everyone. The gang, of course. Kakashi, Gai, and Anko are in a three-way beer pong competition with Iruka as judge, apparently. He even invited Suigetsu and the three midget recruits.

Naruto would have had Teuchi from Ichiraku cater if he hadn't put his foot down. _Get your own fucking island Naruto!_

Instead of hosting a bachelor's party, or a bachelorette's party, the soon-to-be-weds decided they'd have this giant pre-wedding celebration instead.

Like they haven't yet. So far, there's been two engagement parties, an impromptu wedding role announcement, not to mention the one where Sakura insisted on asking everybody what to do about Naruto and Hinata before they even figured it out themselves.

Speaking of which…

He spies _her_ sitting near the fire, poking a stick into the embers. The light reflects in her green eyes like flecks of gold, as if she needed more ways to stand out. Sasuke's not ashamed to say it, he doesn't think it's sappy.

She's beautiful.

The kind that you like to stare at because she's vibrant, and colorful, and shiny… and fragile.

Did he ever tell Sakura that, before? No? Great, just put in on the list of reasons why Uchiha Sasuke is such a fucking jackass.

No wonder she left him.

He watches her sit there, hugging a thin, blue cardigan to herself like that or the fire's going to be enough for this spring chill… so out of place. Though he's not one to talk, he's just as disconnected. The difference is, he's Sasuke. It's self-explanatory.

And it's not like no one's trying to get her to join in the "fun". The dobe and Hinata have already tried sitting with her. And Inuzuka and Lee tried to get her to dance, both of whom she just smiled and waved her hands at no to. Even _Karin_ has tried pulling her into the fray, and he doesn't even want to know what's happening there.

He'd have thought Yamanaka at least would have cajoled and bullied her into joining everyone else but it looks like she's more preoccupied with looking for her absentee boyfriend. Nobody assumes he notices these things because they think he doesn't care. But he does— notice things at least; read between the lines.

How Nara's stalked off into the woods and disappeared.

That the dobe is drinking way too fucking much even if alcohol doesn't have the same effect on him as on everyone else.

And that Sakura has been keeping away from everyone since they got to the island.

The point is… he hasn't seen or talked to Sakura since yesterday. And he doesn't know what to do next except bore holes on her back.

What's got her so preoccupied?

"Hey Sasuke-kun, need some company?"

Karin, two glasses of whisky in her hands, squeezes herself beside him. "Here. This will be better than what Naruto's giving away."

Sasuke takes a glass and chuckles. Ain't that the truth.

"Guess what we did today?" she asks him excitedly, like a little kid after the first day of class. "We tried on the bridesmaid dresses!"

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he registers that they were purple or lilac, or whatever classy way girls usually say it is, and that she can't wait for him to see her in it. They'll look gorgeous together, or something. But he's not really listening.

He doesn't even notice when Karin's voice trails and fades into nothingness.

Because he's looking at her, looking at him, with that fucking depreciative, sad smile again. And he doesn't even have a fucking clue what he did wrong now.

This shit is getting _really _old.

She gets up and pats the dust off her shorts and walks along the shore away from them to only god knows where.

Away. Just away again.

And even just as he's thinking that maybe _this_ time he _should_ go after her, he finds that he's already up and walking.

Exactly like a pathetic moth to the flame.

* * *

It was the place that time forgot.

An empty clearing in the middle of the island in Lake Okugi, where the trees grew like great walls that stretched up to the sky. It's not easy to find— the island's vaster than people think it is and there are places you can only get to if you follow the right path.

They were thirteen and he was showing it to Sakura for the first time.

The heat of her hand in his as he guided her along the way.

That smell of resin and pine, so sickly sweet especially under the afternoon sun.

How hesitant her smile broke out when he told her no one else knew of that place because of course he trusted her not to show it to anyone. Though he never told her that last part, like so many of the things he _should _have said.

Even after so long, he still remembers every sensation. He told himself then that he brought her there on a whim. They were in the island, and they had nothing to do. But then, why Sakura? Why only her and no one else?

Her smile, so hopeful, so grateful, seared itself into his mind.

Maybe that was enough reason why.

* * *

She knows this place, every tree and trail.

Even six years couldn't take that away, he knows.

That's why even though she veers from the shore and into the woods, Sasuke knows it's not because she's lost. Just probably deep in thought and unaware. She hasn't even noticed him following her.

Is it too much to hope for that that's exactly what she wants?

Sasuke rolls his eyes. He's probably the last person she wants to see or talk to right now, and he couldn't blame her. Even _he _doesn't like himself at the moment.

They go deeper and deeper, until the path disappears into grass and ferns and knee-high shrubs. Even the light from the party can't reach them anymore. He can barely see her, she's just a shadow moving around in the darkness. But that's okay, because suddenly he knows where they're headed to, and his heart can't help but lurch.

Into the place that time forgot.

Their place.

She exits into a clearing, light materializing from the wide sky above, while he stays behind in the shade, looking at her and savoring the unguarded view. He's not sure if it's because everyone else is too far away or if the towering trees are acting like a natural buffer, but in there, there's nothing but the sound of wind rushing through the leaves.

The soft light of the full moon is just enough for him to see her. In its glow, the pink of her hair turns to white, and the skin of her legs are almost luminescent. And she's just standing there with her back to him, her face turned up towards the sky… one hand hanging listlessly at her side while the other is wrapped around her stomach, hugging herself.

Time and time again, she's proven herself strong. It seems like that's everything she's ever done, everything she's strived for. Supporting herself after her mother died, leaving Konoha, getting into medical school. Even staying with him those first few months after Itachi died and he pushed and shoved and lashed out at everyone. Sakura will give you back everything you give her, pound for pound, punch for punch.

So why is it that that's never what he sees?

He's definitely never handled her as something so breakable, as evidenced by the shitty and callous way he treated her. All the same, he's always thought of her as someone to be protected.

Sasuke takes off his coat and places it into the crook of his arm as he walks towards her.

And now? From what does she need to be protected? From _whom_?

Understandably, Sakura starts when he puts his coat on her shoulders.

"Sasuke…!"

There's no anger in her eyes, or fear, or defensiveness or whatever else he thought she might feel. Just him, reflected back in those pools of green. "We need to talk."

She frowns and backs away, like she's enumerating in her head all the reasons why it would be a bad idea. And he's already thinking up counterarguments to head each one off because he doesn't think he'll be able to take it if she refuses.

Damn it, they _need _to fix all this shit between them and he sure as hell isn't going to wait another six years for it!

Just when he thinks she's about to say that most demoralizing word— no, she sighs and nods. Yes, they do need to talk, she says.

They sit in the middle, just like they used to do, back to back. But this time, there's a width of space between them that might as well have been a solid wall— a testament to all that's changed and everything they lost.

Well he's come this far, and she's given it all she's got hasn't she?

It's probably time he did the same.

"You asked me what I wanted." Sasuke whispers into the night. "Well, I think I know."

* * *

A/N: Whenever I write from Sasuke's point of view, I always try to monitor how many curses he's dropped. I ask, "how many fucks does Sasuke give?" or "how many shits has Sasuke given?"

And apparently, Sasuke's a pretty caring guy. Har-de-har-har.

We're past the half, and things should pick up pretty fast from here on in. On a side note, Happpy Jennifer Aniston meme day!


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